ABC Online - "Mixed reactions to surrogacy proposals"

There are no uniform surrogacy laws in Australia.

Tasmanian Christian lobby groups and gay rights activists are at loggerheads over plans allow surrogate pregnancies.

There are no uniform surrogacy laws in Australia and Tasmanian legislation prevents infertile couples from arranging contracts with surrogate mothers.

Last week, the nation's Attorneys-General agreed to develop a uniform framework to allow conditional, non-commercial surrogacy.

Tasmanian Labor MLC, Lin Thorp, hopes a select committee inquiry into surrogacy issues in Tasmania will influence the development of the new laws.

Gay rights advocate Rodney Croome welcomes the move.

"At the moment same-sex couples seeking to become parents through surrogacy are forced overseas and often into commercial arrangements," he said.

"And allowing altruistic surrogacy allows same-sex and opposite sex couples who are childless to receive the gift of parenthood, often from close friends or relatives."

The Christian Lobby opposes moves to allow surrogate pregnancies in Tasmania, saying the change would be detrimental to the children involved.

The Tasmanian head of the Australian Christian Lobby, Nick Overton, says even altruistic surrogacy is fraught with problems.

"You could have up to, I guess conceivably, just off the top of my head, maybe five or six different people involved and then of course that is really, moves into the whole realm I guess of blurred family relationships," he said.

"Who is the parent and access for the child and you know very complex relational and legal complications."

[Link: Original Article]

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SX - "One State, One Mother" by Jenni Millbank

There’s no reason for New South Wales to be dragging the chain in same-sex parenting rights, writes Jenni Millbank.family-250.jpg

The majority of same-sex families in Australia are formed by lesbian couples having children through assisted conception.

In some families this is with anonymous sperm, while in others it is with the help of a known donor or biological father who is often a gay man.

Men in these arrangements occupy a wide variety of roles, from a ‘donor’ with little or no contact with the child, to an on-going relationship that is friendly and may or may not involve him being called ‘Dad’.

Children in all of these families have two mothers but have the protection and security of a legal relationship with only one parent: the birth mother. These children may also be deprived of a legal relationship with their sister or brother. Even if they have the same biological father but are each born to a different mother in the couple, NSW will not record the children as siblings.

A very simple way to solve this situation is to open up the existing presumption of parental status for heterosexual couples and apply it to lesbian couples.

A man who consents to his female partner conceiving through donor insemination or IVF is the legal father of the child regardless of his lack of genetic connection to the child. This presumption, in existence for more than 30 years in Australian law, renders social fathers the legal fathers of children whom they intended to raise.

A sperm donor, whether known or anonymous is (like an egg donor) not a legal parent.

This rule recognises the importance of children having a legally protected relationship with both of the parents who actually live with and care for them, regardless of genetic connection.

Such parents can then make important medical decisions for their children, can travel with them overseas, and can pass on property to them in the absence of a will. Legal recognition also ensures that both parents are equally placed if they later separate and have a dispute.

The biological connection of one parent in these situations should not be used as a weapon to exclude the other.

Providing automatic recognition to the second female parent in lesbian families should not be seen as something that competes with, or detracts from, the rights of a known donor/biological father.

Firstly, known donors are not legal fathers in Australia, so they do not lose any rights by co-mothers gaining parental status.

Secondly, in the vast majority of families, children live with their mothers and some have a contact relationship with their biological father, which does not necessarily require full parental status.

Furthermore, if biological fathers have, or wish to have, relationships with children, the Family Court has attached great importance to both the social relationship and their biological connection with the child, regardless of the lack of legal parental status.

Legal recognition of lesbian co-mothers is not about devaluing the role of involved gay fathers; rather it is about providing a clear legal support for the primary caregiving unit.

In 2002 Western Australia was the first Australian state to extend a presumption of parentage to lesbian partners, followed by the Northern Territory in 2003 and the ACT in 2004. This parental status will be extended to both female parents in Victorian law later in 2008.

Equivalent reforms have also been in place in South Africa since 2003, New Zealand since 2004 and were introduced in most Canadian provinces from 2002-2006.

The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission recommended similar provisions for all federal law in their report into same-sex families last year.

Yet last week the NSW Attorney-General John Hatzistergos announced that NSW will not follow the lead of WA, the ACT, NT and Victoria, and will instead continue to prevent children in lesbian families from having the protection and care of two legal parents.

This stubborn resistance to the tide of change is lamentable: NSW was the first to introduce same-sex couple rights in 1999, don’t let us be the last to pass parenting rights.

Jenni Millbank is a Professor of Law at the University of Technology, Sydney.

[Link: Original Article]

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DNA Magazine - "Make or Break" by Robbie Fells

Gay Dad with Robbie Fells
The challenges of raising kids can bring you and your partner closer together or, if there are unresolved issues, drive you further apart.

My partner and I recently visited Sydney and while my mum was minding the kids for the night we started wondering… Why did we have children? Without them we could sleep in together, have sex on tap and travel to glamorous cities. Why did we give up our overseas trips, go-out-whenever-we-want lifestyle and financial security?

The answer is that we both wanted more from life. While we enjoyed our recent free time, it was bittersweet. Ask most parents and I’m sure they’ll admit to not being able to live without their kids. I just came back from a two-week stint in the US and it’s scary how much I missed my family. I found myself in tears just looking at their photo. They become part of you and you miss them like crazy when separated.

How did my partner and I traverse the journey from kid-free and fun loving to doting dads? Firstly, we both wanted children equally. If one of us was female we’d probably have had four kids by now. I really doubt that being parents together will work if one person in the relationship is only partly committed. Put simply, you won’t get through the tough times. And there are many.

Imagine this: your new baby has woken up three times during the night, you’ve had one to two hours sleep and the baby wakes up yet again. Your partner has to go to work tomorrow so you have to get up again while every cell in your body screams, “No! Just go to sleep!”

What about differences of opinion? I want my children to go to a public school but my partner prefers private. My partner and I have more mundane arguments about what’s good for our kids, too. One thinks the child needs to sleep, the other thinks he’ll be okay, etc.

All this means that we’ve lost the spontaneity in our lives. Going out for dinner or popping out to a café now requires planning. Accepting invitations to parties becomes a serious logistical business if you have a child who needs to go to bed early every night and who needs food, milk and sterilised bottles at regular times. All this can cause more tension in a relationship than you might expect.

How are these difficulties navigated? Firstly, it’s a great idea to accept that conflict is okay. Ignoring or avoiding conflict is a relationship killer. Not discussing how you feel and bottling up tension is dangerous. My partner and I have learned to live with difference and to compromise.

You’re not always going to get your own way. Preparing yourself for managing and rethinking your own needs is part of this process. Sometimes the other parent knows better and you simply have to defer to them.

No matter what, you have to work as a team – one organises bottles and the other organises drop-off at day care. You should change things around, too. If one person gets to sleep in for a day or two, it should be reciprocated. You have to keep an eye out for your partner and make sure that you’re both getting a fair deal.

Children magnify any relationship gaps you may have and you have to deal with those gaps in productive ways. It’s worth discussing how you intend to parent your children early. Start the conversations between you and your partner well before the baby arrives. Consider discussing parenting with a specialist.

For my partner and I, becoming parents has only enriched our relationship. When I see him unselfishly giving to our kids it only makes me love him more.


If you have a question for Robbie send it to features@DNAmagazine.com.au.

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SX - "Same-sex families in NSW disadvantaged" by Reg Domingo

Same-sex families in NSW are at a significant disadvantage compared to those in other states because without a parenting order, a co-parent has no legal rights.

Professor Jenni Millbank from the Faculty of Law at the University of Technology said that unlike Western Australia, the ACT and Northern Territory, donors and co-parents in NSW are not automatically granted co-parenting status.

The lack of such provisions means that same-sex families in NSW do not share the same legal protection as those in other states in areas such as health, finance and inheritance.

“It’s a whole range of laws both in NSW and federally,” Millbank told SX. “For example, if a co-mother died or was injured, then her children wouldn’t automatically receive inheritance from her. The child wouldn’t be entitled to work or accident compensation. Likewise if the mothers break up, the birth mother isn’t able to use the Child Support Act to seek financial support from the co-mother.”

Millbank said that, in the event of a break-up, while a co-parent could still gain rights by proving their involvement with the child, “it’s a very uneven playing field in the sense that the co-mother has a much higher threshold to meet in terms of proving that her relationship with the child is beneficial for them. Whereas for a legal parent, that would be the starting point, because of course it would be beneficial for them to spend time with her.”

Last week, the NSW Attorney-General John Hatzitergos announced that the Iemma Government will not update its legislation, despite signs that the Victorian government will seek reform. It’s a move Millbank described as “sheer gutlessness”.

“It’s an area where there’s a clear and pressing need for recognition where there’s no advantage in any respects to say that one group of children should only have one legal parent while another has two. It doesn’t do anyone any good,” Millbank said. “It’s not like we’re waiting for some results to come in. We have a clearly defined problem and a clear and obvious solution. It’s just sheer gutlessness.”

[Link: Original Article]

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MCV - "Nelson affirms queer stance"

Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson confirmed the Liberal Party’s stance on GLBT rights in a speech to the National Press Club recently.

“We believe … in relation to people, that families are the foundation of Australian society,” Nelson said.

“I make no apology for saying that a man and a woman is a marriage and that forms a family. I don’t support gay marriage, I don’t support gay adoption and I don’t support gay IVF.

"But I sure as hell believe very strongly that no Australian should pay a dollar more in tax or receive a dollar less in social security by virtue of his or her sexuality.”

[Link: Original Article]

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Sydney Morning Herald - "She's the girl of their dreams" by Louise Hall, Health Reporter

Meet Qona, the nine-year-old girl at the heart of an extraordinary tale of modern-day parenting.

Her birth mother lives in Sydney with her girlfriend. Her other mother, the woman she calls "mum" - the ex-girlfriend of her birth mother - raised her in New Zealand on her own.

But it's her gay dad who will soon take responsibility for raising her.

Qona's remarkable "rainbow" family is one of a growing trend of gay and lesbian people redefining parenthood. "We call ourselves a family," said Qona's dad, Mark Harrigan, a hairdresser from Newtown.

Jill Christie, her non-birth mother, agreed: "To her, this is normal - she knows her dad is gay and her mothers are lesbians.

"She knows she wasn't created through sex - instead we tell her she was born scientifically - and she's proud of it."

Qona Venus Harrigan Christie was conceived in Sydney through home insemination using Mr Harrigan's sperm. Ms Christie said she and Qona's birth mother, Sarah (not her real name), chose Mr Harrigan because he wanted to play a hands-on role in his child's life.

"I think if a kid has the chance to know both their mum and dad why deny them that?" she said.

"Otherwise they'll spend the rest of their lives wondering about that unknown parent."

Three weeks after Qona's birth at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, Ms Christie obtained a parenting order from the Family Court which granted her extensive rights as co-mother.

Qona, a Solomon Islands name meaning peaceful dove, was named after Ms Christie's mother. Qona was also given Ms Christie's surname.

Mr Harrigan said his daughter's birth was the fulfilment of a lifelong dream. After Sarah gave birth, Mr Harrigan was the first person to hold the newborn. A year later - dressed in drag as "Margaret" - he held a sleeping Qona in his arms on top of the lead float in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

"I always knew I was going to be a father - the difficulty lay in how that would happen," he said.

"Now I can't believe I produced something so beautiful."

Qona's early years were full of change. Mr Harrigan had her every third week from the age of three months till she was 4½ years, when Sarah and Ms Christie moved back to their native New Zealand.

But just a year later the lesbian couple split and Sarah returned to Sydney, leaving Ms Christie to cope as a single mother in Wellington, a conservative town with a small gay community. Suddenly alone, she had to give up her high-powered career in health administration.

"It's cost me a lot - my career, my relationships and financially," Ms Christie said.

Now 55, she has decided Mr Harrigan, 39, is more able to guide Qona through her adolescent years.

As a sperm donor, Mr Harrigan has no legal rights involving major decision-making about Qona's education, living arrangements or health. He has no liabilities either, such as child-support payments.

Last month the three parents held their first "parenting conference" and decided Qona will move back to Sydney. Ms Christie may also move in with dad and daughter, and even Sarah may play more of a role.

"With so many divorces and re-marriages it's not that extraordinary to have three parents anyway and our sexuality has nothing to do with our parenting," Mr Harrigan said.

Despite the unconventional nature of her upbringing, Qona, Ms Christie and Mr Harrigan said, is a stoic, self-assured little girl who is proud of her mums and dad.

"When I visit she drags me round the playground telling everyone I'm her dad," Mr Harrigan said.

A 2006 US study found that the adolescent offspring of same-sex parents did not differ from the children of heterosexual parents in self-esteem, peer relationships, school adjustment, drug use or sexual experience. In fact, teenagers of same-sex parents coped better with prejudice and bullying.

The other important adult in Qona's life is Mr Harrigan's partner, John Cobban.

Mr Cobban said in the past he's refused requests to be a sperm donor, believing a child "should have a male and female input into its life".

Being part of Mr Harrigan's world has changed his view.

"Meeting this unique family has opened my eyes and changed my thoughts on gay parenting," he said.

Rodney Cruise, from Gay Dads Australia, said while lesbians had been raising children for decades, gay men actively seeking fatherhood was a relatively new trend. He said gay men usually teamed up with a lesbian couple, single lesbian or single heterosexual woman. Increasingly, though, they are using a surrogate in overseas countries and raising the child with their same-sex partner.

"Gay and lesbian people will have children and you can't stop them," he said. "What makes a family is love and that's what people care about - that the kids are loved, happy and well looked after."

Mr Cruise and his partner, Jeff Chaing-Cruise, have a son Ethan, 15 months, who was born by surrogacy in the US.

He also has a child to a lesbian couple but he doesn't have a daily role in her upbringing. He said there is growing acceptance of same-sex couples in the wider community.

Qona is an outgoing, sporty child who has represented her school in athletics, swimming and cross-country. Ms Christie said she was hitting the age where "sex is on the agenda" and her parents would continue to be open about their sexuality.

Research shows children raised by same-sex parents are no more likely to identify as gay or lesbian in adulthood than children raised by heterosexual parents.

Ms Christie believes Qona will probably experiment with boys and girls as she grows up, but "she has a much chance as being gay as any other child".

[Link: SMH Article]
[Link: The Age Article]
[Link: Brisbane Times]

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Brisbane Times - "NSW slow to adopt parent provision"

NSW is lagging behind other states because, without a parenting order, a donor or co-parent has no legal rights, a same-sex parenting expert says. Professor Jenni Millbank, from the Faculty of Law at the University of Technology, says there is a growing awareness in the community that "not everybody raising a child is their biological parent".

But unlike in Western Australia, the ACT and Northern Territory, where the partner of the biological parent is automatically awarded co-parent status, much like the male partner of a woman who conceives through IVF, there is no such provision in NSW.

Professor Millbank says while proof of ongoing involvement in the life of the child can be used in court in the event of a dispute, "there is no excuse for NSW to be so slow at recognising parenting rights for same-sex couples".

A spokesman for Attorney-General John Hatzistergos says his Victorian counterpart, Rob Hulls, has indicated his intention to raise the issue of same-sex parental rights at this week's Standing Committee of Attorneys-General meeting. But he says the Iemma Government has no plans to update NSW legislation.

Research conducted in Australia and the US shows up to 10percent of gay men and 20percent of lesbians are parents. Up to half of these parents had children in a previous heterosexual relationship, but this proportion appears to be declining.

The 2006 Private Lives report which surveyed 5476 lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people across Australia found 25.6percent had children while a 2005 Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby report indicated that 18.6percent had children.

[Link: Original Article]

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