Same-Same - “Gay Census: Babies” by Travis de Jonk

The results are in from the Gay Census. So far we’ve looked at gay marriage, sex and drugs. This week we’re taking a look at the issues surrounding gay parenting and surrogacy. How many of us already have children, and how many of us are keen to take the plunge into parenthood?

The survey found that approximately a third of us would one day like to have children. 28% of gay male respondents want kids, 1% already have kids and wanted more. Unsurprisingly, lesbians were more inclined to want children and were also more likely to already have them. 40% of women wanted kids and 3% of those already had them and wanted more. It’s a positive and promising sign according to Rodney Chaing-Cruise, co-moderator of Gay Dads Australia.

“The statistics are quite interesting and illustrate that the desire for gays and lesbians to become parents is very strong. I would suggest at least amongst gay men it’s becoming stronger, particularly as the options of surrogacy are becoming more widely known,” he said.

Discussion of the issues surrounding parenting have become of greater interest to the community, and are starting to become more reflected in aspects of our culture and activities.

“Attitudes towards parenting and children are changing – slowly – within the LGBTI community too,” says Felicity Marlowe from the Rainbow Families Council. “For example the Melbourne Queer Film Festival held a kids movie session at this year’s film festival for the first time.”

When it comes to methods of creating a family, surrogacy, adoption and donor / insemination were the most preferred options. The gay men surveyed were pretty evenly split between adoption and surrogacy as options for how they would create their families. 46% opted for surrogacy as the chosen method, while 48% preferred adoption.

Lesbians respondents preferred the donor / insemination option overall – 62% would choose a donor to help facilitate creating their children, rather than going down the adoption path (25%).

Despite its popularity as an option, the unfortunate reality is that adoption is simply still not really an option for most gays and lesbians in Australia.

“In relation to the gay parenting aspects it is true that surrogacy done in the US, Canada and India is providing gay men with the opportunities to be dads and fulfill their desire to be parents. It’s a desire that straight people have as well. The adoption statistics are very interesting and I suspect they are merely a reflection of ‘we would do it if we were allowed’,” said Chiang-Cruise.

Adoption is essentially illegal for gay and lesbians in all states except WA. ACT and Tasmania allow for “second parent” or “known parent” adoption. The lack of available children for adoption in Australia is a well documented problem. This is on top of the fact that gays and lesbians generally don’t have a legal right (in most states) to access adoption. International adoption is also banned for all gay and lesbian couples from Australia.

So who do we most want to help facilitate the process of creating our families? The clear majority of those surveyed (66% of gay males, 63% of lesbians) said they would want the donor / surrogate to be a good friend, with a slight preference for a queer friend over a straight one. The second most popular option was for an uninvolved donor or surrogate, paid or unpaid, with a 24% of gay men favouring that option, and 27% of lesbians.

The above figures appear indicate a preference for an ongoing relationship with donors, someone who will assist in creating a family and will continue to have an involvement in the child and family’s life. However, according to Lee Matthews, founder of the Gay Dads Australia network, for those creating their family the most important focus is the welfare of the child and treating both parents as equal, rather than focusing on who is or isn’t involved biologically.

“All the dads we know rarely acknowledge whose sperm was used, and make sure that everyone treats both guys within a relationship as equal parents,” said Matthews.

“What’s paramount is that their children see their parents as equal, and also that those around them – extended family, friends, school teachers – do too. Genetics might be topical at time of conception but social circumstance wins out as soon as your kids are part of your life.”

Both Marlowe and Chaing-Cruise agree with Matthews.

As a result of strong community campaigning from organisations such as Rainbow Families Council and Love Makes A Family, parenting options are slowly becoming more available and GLBTI families are more recognised – so is greater awareness of the complex issues surrounding parenting. Traditional terms such as father, mother, biological, natural and parent have radically different implications when used to describe roles within a GLBTI family context.

“Language is a fraught area of discussion as we are trying to create families that do not fit the words or terms the mainstream world uses to explain everyone’s roles/responsibilities with a family structure,” explains Marlowe.

“I think our LGBTI parenting community takes the use of language very seriously and thinks long and hard about what to call ourselves and what words to use to describe our families.”

[Link: Original Article]

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The Hump Day Crew – Joy 94.9 – Gay Dads Victoria – Surrogacy Forum

The Hump Day Crew chat to Rodney from Gay Dads Victoria about the upcoming Forum on Gay Surrogacy, his personal story of the birth of his son Ethan in America and much more around surrogacy.

To find out more about this group visit their website www.gaydadsaustralia.com

Click here to listen to the full interview!

[Link: Original Article]

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News.com.au - “Queensland woman impregnated by donor sperm, surrogate for her single gay brother” by Mark Schliebs

A WOMAN is due to give birth to a child for her gay brother after impregnating herself with donor sperm from a third party - an act that is illegal in her home state of Queensland.

At the centre of the startling story, the homosexual man says pregnancy tests taken last month have proven that his sister is carrying what will become his first child.

The man, aged in his mid-twenties, said his older sister, who has two teenage children herself, agreed to carry a child for him earlier this year and became pregnant after being artificially inseminated with another man's sperm.

It is not known if the child, due to be born early next year, will know the identity of its biological mother. It will not have interaction with the biological father.

"I understand that my own situation is a little different to what people would normally hear about," the man told news.com.au in an email.

The siblings declined to be interviewed for this story.

Stephen Page, a partner at Brisbane's Harrington Family Lawyers and an expert on gay and lesbian law issues, said all surrogacy arrangements in Queensland were illegal.

But Mr Page said the only way for the pregnancy to be legal would be if the child would be treated as her own.

In a post on an internet forum in April, the "gay dad-to-be" admitted that his case was "unorthodox".

"I guess the other thing that makes my situation a little unique is that I intend to be a sole parent. I am single, and am looking forward to being a single dad."

He added that he was not opposed to having a partner after the child's birth.

Rodney Cruise, a father of two who heads Gay Dads Australia, said he would like congratulate the Queensland man on his good news.

"I think it's great that the man has a family member so willing to do this," Mr Cruise said.

"(Surrogacy pregnancies) doesn't happen in a backseat of a car after three Bacardi Breezers, these are well planned and well thought-out.

"Who would (a child) rather want: a loving caring gay father… or an alcoholic woman with an abusive drug addicted partner?

"In terms of the legality of (surrogacy), I'm sure that there’s hundreds and hundreds of cases out there."

But Anglican bishop and academic Tom Frame, who was adopted at a young age and believes that he might never know who his biological father is, said the impact on such an arrangement would be overwhelming for a child.

"We've got a child here who will grow up without its biological mother or father," Dr Frame said.

"We are deliberately breaking to bond between the father, the mother and the child. I think if you don't need to do that, don't do it."

Dr Frame said if the child did know its aunt was its biological mother, it could react the same way his own sister - who was also adopted - did and demand to live with her.

"Sometimes (children) decide not to get along with their parents with whom they live with because they have leaving options.

"What if the sister didn't like the way her brother raised her child? She could legally take the child back."

Mr Page said it could be possible for an unmarried person to legally gain custody and guardianship of a child, but adopting it would be difficult.

"(In Queensland) you've got to be married for two years to adopt," Mr Page said. "It actively discriminates against gays and lesbians."

He said an unmarried person could seek a Supreme Court order, but the costs of a trial would be overwhelming.

John Morrissey from the Australian Family Association said the child would be born out of "vanity".

"It's a strange situation," Mr Morrissey said. "It's not giving the kid a normal family.

"He wants to have a baby, the baby doesn't get a say (and) it's not about what the baby wants."

[Link: Original Article]

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Gay Dads on Joy 94.9 – Saturday Magazine – Listen Online

Rodney, Michael and Francisco – 3 Gay Dads talking about their experience on being and becoming Gay Dads on Joy 94.9 – Saturday Magazine – 30 May 2009.  Listen Below.

 

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

[Link: Joy 94.9]

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MCV - "Gay dads seek surrogacy rights" by Rachel Cook

A proposal that seeks to align state and federal surrogacy laws has been released for public consultation and submissions.

The paper titled, A Proposal for a National Model to harmonise regulation of Surrogacy was released by the National Standing Committee of Attorney Generals (SCAG) and the ministerial councils for Community Services and Health. GLBT activists have welcomed the move.

Corey Irlam, spokesperson for the Australian Coalition for Equality told MCV:

“We are cautiously optimistic that this provides an opportunity for the states to become equal and to update their laws to access surrogacy.

“Surrogacy is a state-based issue and the federal government has said they will acknowledge any state based surrogacy laws,” Irlam said.

The paper makes several recommendations that would benefit same-sex and heterosexual couples.

If the recommendations were successful, both partners in a gay male couple would be recognised as parents of the child.

Currently in Victoria, the non-biological partner in a gay couple is not seen as a legal parent.

“Without the ability for the non-biological parent to adopt as a second parent, gay men who are entering into a surrogacy arrangement will be unable to both be seen as the legal parents of the child,” Irlam said.

“The Victorian Law Reform Commission recommended that adoption would be addressed and the government have not acted upon this.”

Currently, the non-biological parent in a gay male couple has to apply for a parenting order from the Family Court to have any legal parenting rights.

Co-moderator of Gay Dads Australia Rodney Cruise told MCV parenting orders give non-biological fathers most of the rights as a parent.

“He can apply for a passport for the child, enrol the child in school and make medical decisions. It’s still not a full parent situation, but it’s the closest thing we have in Victoria.”

Cruise said lesbian couples have long been accessing parenting orders and gay men are following in their footsteps.

“Gay dads are exercising the same process and have had success, there has been no problems getting them.”

However, Cruise warned that obtaining a parenting order is an expensive course of action.

“It involves lawyers and that can be a costly process, whereas the Holy Grail for gay dads is what’s called second parent adoption, which would allow the non-biological father to adopt their partner’s biological child and become a full parent.

“With second parent adoption you are a parent for life, unlike a parenting order which only lasts till the child is 18. So this impacts on inheritance and other issues too.”

In December 2008 the Assisted Reproductive Treatment (ART) Bill narrowly passed. Part of the legislative reform will secure the non-biological parent in a lesbian couple to now be recognised as a legal parent.

“There was a recognition that we had to get lesbian families over the line first,” Cruise said.

“Without that parliament would not have considered two men as parents.

“The next logical step is for the community and government to get their head around gay males.”

Federal Attorney-General Robert McClellend said the laws should make it easier for surrogacy couples.

“The differing laws on this complex and sensitive issue often force prospective parents to enter another Australian state or territory to have surrogate children.” McClellend said.

[Link: Original Article]

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Southern Star - "Victorian Couples Recognised" by Andie Noonan

After sharing eight years and one son together, Rodney Cruise and Jeff Chiang are finally an official couple in the eyes of  the law.

Cruise and Chiang were among the first couples to take advantage of the Victorian Relationships Register, which opened this week and will allow same-sex couples to formally register their unions.

With 23-month-old son Ethan in their arms, the pair registered at the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on Monday, the register’s first day, with three other same-sex couples.

Victorian Parliament passed laws earlier this year to allow unmarried heterosexual and same-sex domestic partners to formalise their relationships with a registry scheme.

Registration will now provide conclusive proof of a domestic relationship under Victorian law.

The Victorian scheme mirrors those operating in the ACT and Tasmania .

Cruise told Southern Star it was an important step on the road to what he and his partner hope will be the right to marry.

Cruise said the two decided to formalise their union for both practical and symbolic reasons.

“If one of us died, I don’t want to be having to prove the person just buried is my partner to disbelieving public servants or banks or whoever,” he said.

“It’s really important knowing our family will be recorded in official government documents.

“The historic nature of it is that gay families are recognised for the first time. We are a recognised part of the community.”

Although there are no planned festivities, the couple celebrated their anniversary with a recent trip to Japan, and, more importantly for Ethan, a trip to Disneyland.

Deputy Premier and Attorney-General Rob Hulls launched the scheme, saying it was a significant day for those who cannot or don’t wish to marry, to have their relationship respected.

“This will make it easier for couples to access their rights under Victorian law and provide certainty to their legal obligations, without having to argue repeatedly that they are in a committed partnership or to have to prove this in court,” he said.

Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission CEO, Dr Helen Szoke welcomed couples to the first day of registration.

Registering couples need to be 18 years or older, live in Victoria and not be married or in another domestic relationship already registered in Victoria.

Registering a relationship will cost $180, with additional costs for a registration certificate.

info: www.bdm.vic.gov.au

[Link: Original Article]

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MCV - "Couples Register their Love"

Same-sex couples lined up to register their relationships at the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on Monday.

The Brumby Government’s new Relationships Register was launched by Deputy Premier and Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who said it provided couples who did not want to marry or who were unable to do so with formal recognition of their committed relationship.

John Edie and his partner, Adam, were among those couples who registered their relationship on Monday.

“It’s wonderful that the state of Victoria is now recognising same-sex relationships, and it was exciting to be among the first couples at this morning’s launch,” Edie told MCV.

“Being a New Zealander, where we’ve had the Civil Union Bill for a number of years, it’s nice to see Australia starting to catch up, and this is an important step. I would encourage all those Victorian couples in committed relationships to show support for the Register, by going in and registering.”

[Link: Original Article]

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Melbourne Leader - "Life’s Indian Givers" by Hamish Heard

AN increasing number of homosexual Melbourne men are flying to India to save money on the cost of having babies, a gay parents’ organisation says.


Gay Dads Australia spokesman Rodney Cruise said gay Melburnians could save about $90,000 by using Indian surrogate mothers.


It is illegal for gay couples to have babies via surrogacy in Australia. But during the past seven years many have flown to the US or Canada where they pay about $120,000.


“Gay couples who previously wouldn’t have been able to have children because California is too expensive can take up the Indian option for basically a quarter of the cost,” Mr Cruise said.


“We’re seeing more and more couples take up the Indian option,” he said.


Mr Cruise said surrogacy cost only $30,000 in India.


Most of the money is paid to the surrogate, a woman who agrees to carry an embryo in her womb for the term of the pregnancy before giving birth and handing over the baby. Mr Cruise said couples could conceive using anonymous donor eggs or eggs donated by a relative or friend.


“Mostly it’s gestational, where the surrogate carries an embryo that has been created outside the womb. The surrogate rarely would use their own egg,” Mr Cruise said.


Until couples cottoned on to Indian surrogacy, only older, better-off couples could afford children.
“Generally people have been mortgaging their homes to fund this, and that’s fine for people who are in that position, but it can be heartbreaking for those without the resources to do so,” Mr Cruise said.
He said the “vast majority” of Australians using overseas surrogates were from Melbourne.


“There’s probably 40 couples that I know that have had children via surrogacy.” He said many gay couples had been inspired by a 2003 documentary called Man Made: Two Men and a Baby, about Tony Wood and Lee Matthews, a Melbourne couple who became one of the first Australia to produce a baby using an overseas surrogate.


“Maybe Melbourne is just a town where people settle down, or it could be the fact that the pioneering couples were from Melbourne and that’s had an effect of inspiring others around them,” Mr Cruise said.


[Link: Original Article ]

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Melbourne Leader - "The Money that did Buy Happiness" by Hamish Heard

Nearly two years ago the dream of parenthood became a reality for gay Richmond couple Rodney Cruise and Jeff Chiang.

Taking out a $120,000 mortgage on their home seemed a tiny price to pay for the birth of their son, Ethan Chiang-Cruise, who arrived in January last year.

It all started in 2005.

"Jeff and I had been together for about 5 years and we both desperately wanted to have a child", Mr Cruise said.

After watching a documentary about one of the first gay Melbourne couples to parent a child using an overseas surrogate mother, the couple engaged a surrogacy agent in California.

The agent soon introduced the pair to Kelly, a woman from a small town in Ohio who agreed to carry an embryo fertilised using a donor egg and sperm from Mr Chiang or Mr Cruise.

"We immediately became very good friends with Kelly and three months after we met she had her first IVF cycle and got pregnant straight away," Mr Cruise said.

Mr Chiang has an Asian background and the pair, not wanting to fight over who was the biological father, used two egg donors.

One egg was from a Caucasian donor and the other had an Asian background, ensuring the child would be Eurasian regardless of its biological father.

"We haven't told anyone who the biological father is because that is something for Ethan to find out when he's older," Mr Cruise said.

Mr Cruise, 41, is a lawyer and Mr Chiang, 39, works in IT.

"It's impossible to describe the joy and excitement of seeing Ethan grow from this little baby into a toddler and learning to speak and walk, " Mr Cruise said.

"All parents have the same feeling.  He's the apple of our eye," he said.

Mr Cruise said the pair did not see their family structure as unusual.

"Things are changing and we know that Ethan is growing up in an environment that is not special., it's just one of the varieties that exists."

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Stonnington Leader - "Offshore surrogacy hot topic at Prahran forum" by Kate Bruce-Rosser

GAY men are looking to India to pursue the dream of parenthood, Gay Dads Victoria says.

A surrogacy forum in Prahran tonight will explain how the country is the “new growth region” for gay singles and couples seeking fatherhood through surrogacy.

But the Australian Family Association says surrogacy “flat out denies children basic human rights”.

Gay Dads spokesman Rodney Cruise said gay men had the same desire to be fathers as straight men.

Would-be fathers used to go to the US and Canada, where commercial surrogacy was legal but expensive, he said. Paid surrogacy is banned in Australia.

“The surrogacy industry in India is mature and well-regulated,” Mr Cruise said.

“The lower costs mean the option to create a family has opened up to a much larger number of gay men.”

Surrogacy costs about $120,000 in North America compared with $40,000 in India, he said.

The Australian Family Association opposed surrogacy, AFA researcher Tim Cannon said.

“We understand lots of people want to have children, including gay men, but we believe surrogacy flat out denies children basic human rights,” he said.

Surrogate children were deprived of knowing both biological parents, which could lead to identity crises, he said.

Mr Cruise and his partner, Jeff Chiang, have a 21-month-old son, Ethan, “the best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life”.

“Gay (couples) are capable of providing all the love required to raise children,” Mr Cruise said.

Mr Cannon said the AFA was also concerned about “exploited” Indian women who “rented out” their wombs.

Mr Cruise said this was “unfair” and “patronising”, assuming women in India were less capable than Western women of informed choices.

Indian women were screened to ensure they understood the nature of surrogacy, and only mothers could be surrogates, he said.

About 40 gay couples in Victoria have had surrogate children, and many of them in Stonnington, Mr Cruise said.

Forum inquiries: gaydadsaustralia.com.au

[Link: Original Article ]

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Time Out Sydney - "Doting Dads" by Andrew Georgiou

However and whenever the calling to be a dad arises, the fact is that gay men make incredibly loving, nurturing and open-minded parents. In this special report, Andrew Georgiou looks at the different roads to gay fatherhood in Australia.

Click on the images to see full size.




Doting Dads

However and whenever the calling to be a dad arises, the fact is that gay men make incredibly loving, nurturing and open-minded parents. In this special report, Andrew Georgiou looks at the different roads to gay fatherhood in Australia.

Parental instincts. Some men are born with them, for others the desire to be a gay dad kicks in later in life. Gay Dads Australia is a national group of gay men who celebrate the joys of fatherhood through online forums, social gatherings and exchange of resources on their website which has been operating for just over five years.

Rodney Cruise, 42, runs the Gay Dads Australia website which boasts over 400 members between NSW and Victoria. While Cruise and his partner 39-year-old Jeff Chiang have experienced the joys of parenting their 15-month-old son Ethan through a surrogacy arrangement they underwent in the United States, Cruise notes that gay dads across the country have fulfilled their dreams of fatherhood through a variety of scenarios.

“We have dads who have become fathers through known donor arrangements, co-parenting agreements, surrogacy and those with children through previous relationships with women”.

Each situation varies, but the fact remains: a greatly loved child is the ultimate outcome.

Surrogacy

Mostly exercised through surrogacy agencies in the United States, this process is proving to be increasingly popular with gay men in Australia with the desire to be full time dads. Surrogacy sees a gay man or gay male couple firstly choosing an egg donor through a clinic and fertilizing that egg with one of the couple’s sperm. With the assistance of a surrogacy agency, the male couple are introduced to a surrogate whom through IVF, will be implanted with the fertilized egg and carry the baby for the couple to full term. The surrogate is in no way linked to the child, leaving the biological father and his partner as the legal parents to raise the child in Australia.

In 2006 Cruise and Chiang were blessed with their first son Ethan through the assistance of US based Surrogacy agency Growing Generations, which has helped over 500 couples become parents. Their affection and connection with their chosen surrogate developed so strongly during her pregnancy with their son, Rodney and Jeff extended their family network to include Kelly into their now 15 month old son Ethan’s life.

“Even though they are in the US and we live here, Kelly and her family are now a part of ours”, says Jeff.

“Women like her, do this because they genuinely want to help people become parents”. Cruise’s partner Jeff comes from a traditional Taiwanese family which has a long history of basing family on geography rather than biology.

“Jeff’s extended family is made up of people who have descended from his parents village who are often not biologically related. When you think about it these were the first alternative families, and Jeff and I continue that tradition by creating our sense of family as loving and devoted fathers to Ethan” says Cruise.

It’s inspiring to see that a traditional Taiwanese culture can embrace the concept of gay parenting, while negative sensationalism perpetuated in the local media can feed intolerance from with Australia’s wider community. While the costs involved in becoming parents reached the $150,000 mark, Rodney and Jeff’s natural paternal instincts will see them extend their family again when the surrogate for their next child is chosen in May.

“The concept of the traditional family is rather outdated,” says Cruise, “the genetic make up of a family is irrelevant to us. We believe a family is about love.”

Known Donor

The flipside to the surrogacy scenario is the known donor situation where a gay male provides the sperm to single lesbian or a lesbian who is partnered. The basis of this arrangement sees the single or coupled lesbians raise the child with any parental rights or responsibility placed on the biological father. Individual arrangements may be made where the father sees the child throughout his or her upbringing, as either an uncle, family friend or even as dad, though the parental rights are reserved exclusively for the lesbian couple. Known donor cases are usually carried without issue as they have taken on a specific role, which takes a step back from the role and responsibilities of raising the child. 39-year-old Allan from Sydney’s inner West is the very proud known donor to nineteen-month-old Zara.

While Allan spends quality time with Zara and enjoys a close friendship with her lesbian parents, he has maintained the agreement, which sees Zara’s mothers as her full time parents. “I’m very close to the girls and Zara and see them every week. My reward for the gift I have given the girls is seeing the immense joy Zara has brought to everyone’s lives, including grandparents,” says Allan.

“I guess I am seen as a satellite figure or even uncle, and that has worked out incredibly well for all of us. All of our friends have been extremely supportive of the situation.” Last month the NSW Government made its long awaited announcement that it would commit to amending laws to give same-sex parents of children conceived through artificial fertilization the right to officially registered the names of both mothers on a child’s birth certificate.

Co-parenting

Sees the single male or gay male couple act as a co-parent, along side a single or couple lesbian. This arrangement may see a child with two mothers and two fathers, which ultimately provides a double dose of devotion and love for the child. “The biggest issue for gay dads in co-parenting is working out a reasonable arrangement with a lesbian couple and maintaining it,” say Gay Dads Australia’s Rodney Cruise. “Often couples may site down prior to the arrangement and figure out who will see the child and when.”

Many Australian children may have four heterosexual parents through divorce and new marriages, the child of four gay parents often grow up with the extended family from birth. Co-parenting may see the child living with either sets of parents on a full or part time basis based upon a mutal agreement between the male and female couples.

Adoption

Adoption ofr gay singles and couples is legal in the United States, United Kingdom, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and the Netherlands, Australia has failed to catch up to speed. In 2007 a WA couple made Australian history by being the first gay couple granted the right to adopt, however since the landmark ruling no other couples have been allowed to follow suit. Though inter-country adoption between Australian and co-adoption countries such as China exist for heterosexuals, the same rights are not currently extended to gay and lesbian singles or couples wanting to adopt.

Previous relationship

Like countless other gay fathers across Australia, 45-year-old Gregory Duffy, from Sydney’s East has enjoyed the riches of fatherhood through children born out of a previous heterosexual relationship. “I was married, in love and ultimately wanted to start a family and have children of my own,” recalls Duffy.

After the birth of his second daughter, Duffy came to terms with his own sexuality. “I came out to myself toward the end of 1993, and left the marriage when my children Victoria and Georgia were five and two-and-a-half years old. All they really knew was that Dad had left but not for a deeper reason. I did not officially come out to my wife till at least 6 months later.”

“Finally, we began to talk about a whole lot of issues we never touched on before.”

Although Duffy did not come out to his eldest daughter Victoria for another seven years, he recalls his eldest girl struggling with the decision more than his youngest.

“Victoria was quite upset and didn’t fully understand what it was for me to be gay, but after numerous long chats she slowly adjusted and actually felt it was quite cool to have a gay dad!”

Today Greg enjoys a wonderful relationship with Victoria, 19 and Georgina, 16. “Having two beautiful daughters that accept me for who I am and have never judged me for being gay has enriched our relationship. It has been an interesting and emotional journey, but to know I have had their love and support has made the road much easier to travel.”

For more information on Gay Dads Australia and advice on surrogacy go to www.gaydadsaustralia.com.

[Link: Original Article]

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Sydney Morning Herald - "She's the girl of their dreams" by Louise Hall, Health Reporter

Meet Qona, the nine-year-old girl at the heart of an extraordinary tale of modern-day parenting.

Her birth mother lives in Sydney with her girlfriend. Her other mother, the woman she calls "mum" - the ex-girlfriend of her birth mother - raised her in New Zealand on her own.

But it's her gay dad who will soon take responsibility for raising her.

Qona's remarkable "rainbow" family is one of a growing trend of gay and lesbian people redefining parenthood. "We call ourselves a family," said Qona's dad, Mark Harrigan, a hairdresser from Newtown.

Jill Christie, her non-birth mother, agreed: "To her, this is normal - she knows her dad is gay and her mothers are lesbians.

"She knows she wasn't created through sex - instead we tell her she was born scientifically - and she's proud of it."

Qona Venus Harrigan Christie was conceived in Sydney through home insemination using Mr Harrigan's sperm. Ms Christie said she and Qona's birth mother, Sarah (not her real name), chose Mr Harrigan because he wanted to play a hands-on role in his child's life.

"I think if a kid has the chance to know both their mum and dad why deny them that?" she said.

"Otherwise they'll spend the rest of their lives wondering about that unknown parent."

Three weeks after Qona's birth at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, Ms Christie obtained a parenting order from the Family Court which granted her extensive rights as co-mother.

Qona, a Solomon Islands name meaning peaceful dove, was named after Ms Christie's mother. Qona was also given Ms Christie's surname.

Mr Harrigan said his daughter's birth was the fulfilment of a lifelong dream. After Sarah gave birth, Mr Harrigan was the first person to hold the newborn. A year later - dressed in drag as "Margaret" - he held a sleeping Qona in his arms on top of the lead float in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

"I always knew I was going to be a father - the difficulty lay in how that would happen," he said.

"Now I can't believe I produced something so beautiful."

Qona's early years were full of change. Mr Harrigan had her every third week from the age of three months till she was 4½ years, when Sarah and Ms Christie moved back to their native New Zealand.

But just a year later the lesbian couple split and Sarah returned to Sydney, leaving Ms Christie to cope as a single mother in Wellington, a conservative town with a small gay community. Suddenly alone, she had to give up her high-powered career in health administration.

"It's cost me a lot - my career, my relationships and financially," Ms Christie said.

Now 55, she has decided Mr Harrigan, 39, is more able to guide Qona through her adolescent years.

As a sperm donor, Mr Harrigan has no legal rights involving major decision-making about Qona's education, living arrangements or health. He has no liabilities either, such as child-support payments.

Last month the three parents held their first "parenting conference" and decided Qona will move back to Sydney. Ms Christie may also move in with dad and daughter, and even Sarah may play more of a role.

"With so many divorces and re-marriages it's not that extraordinary to have three parents anyway and our sexuality has nothing to do with our parenting," Mr Harrigan said.

Despite the unconventional nature of her upbringing, Qona, Ms Christie and Mr Harrigan said, is a stoic, self-assured little girl who is proud of her mums and dad.

"When I visit she drags me round the playground telling everyone I'm her dad," Mr Harrigan said.

A 2006 US study found that the adolescent offspring of same-sex parents did not differ from the children of heterosexual parents in self-esteem, peer relationships, school adjustment, drug use or sexual experience. In fact, teenagers of same-sex parents coped better with prejudice and bullying.

The other important adult in Qona's life is Mr Harrigan's partner, John Cobban.

Mr Cobban said in the past he's refused requests to be a sperm donor, believing a child "should have a male and female input into its life".

Being part of Mr Harrigan's world has changed his view.

"Meeting this unique family has opened my eyes and changed my thoughts on gay parenting," he said.

Rodney Cruise, from Gay Dads Australia, said while lesbians had been raising children for decades, gay men actively seeking fatherhood was a relatively new trend. He said gay men usually teamed up with a lesbian couple, single lesbian or single heterosexual woman. Increasingly, though, they are using a surrogate in overseas countries and raising the child with their same-sex partner.

"Gay and lesbian people will have children and you can't stop them," he said. "What makes a family is love and that's what people care about - that the kids are loved, happy and well looked after."

Mr Cruise and his partner, Jeff Chaing-Cruise, have a son Ethan, 15 months, who was born by surrogacy in the US.

He also has a child to a lesbian couple but he doesn't have a daily role in her upbringing. He said there is growing acceptance of same-sex couples in the wider community.

Qona is an outgoing, sporty child who has represented her school in athletics, swimming and cross-country. Ms Christie said she was hitting the age where "sex is on the agenda" and her parents would continue to be open about their sexuality.

Research shows children raised by same-sex parents are no more likely to identify as gay or lesbian in adulthood than children raised by heterosexual parents.

Ms Christie believes Qona will probably experiment with boys and girls as she grows up, but "she has a much chance as being gay as any other child".

[Link: SMH Article]
[Link: The Age Article]
[Link: Brisbane Times]

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National Geographic - "Swimming Against the Tide"

"Swimming Against The Tide is a series of stories about Australians who have chosen to live their lives their way. Told in their own words this programme is an invitation into the lives of people who, while they fit into the society around them, are doing something a little different to the rest of us. Meet a gay couple (Rodney Cruise & Jeff Chiang) who have adopted a baby son and are loving their new found fatherhood in Melbourne".

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Notebook Magazine - "Devoted Dads"

January Edition of "Notebook" Magazine featuring an article entitled "Devoted Dads" with Rodney, Jeff and Ethan Chiang-Cruise.

Rodney, Jeff and Ethan, 11 months

Attorney Rodney Cruise and his partner, Jeff Chiang, want the same things for their baby son, Ethan, as most parents. "Love, understanding, acceptance; that's what we will give Ethan, " says Rodney. "We want our son to grow up knowing he is loved unconditionally - and we'll support him to become a happy, successful, well-balanced person, gay or straight, with his own family one day if he chooses".

Rodney says his mother loved and supported him through his difficult early teenage years when he first realised he was gay. Similarly, he wants to be there for his son whatever needs may arise. "From about the age of 17, I knew I wanted to be a parent some day and I knew that being gay was going to make it more difficult. But I had a lot of things I wanted and needed to do first. Then, when I met Jeff in late 2000, one of the first things we talked about was having children. It was so exciting to meet a man who shared the same aspiration".

Over the next five years, Rodney and Jeff considered all sorts of parenting possibilities, including co-parenting with a lesbian couple, adoption, fostering and surrogacy. Adoption is not legally possible for gay couples in Australia, unlike many Western countries. The couple felt fostering was too temporary, and co-parenting wasn't ideal because Rodney and Jeff wanted to be full-time parents. After watching a documentary about a gay couple from Melbourne who achieved parenthood through surrogacy in the United States, Rodney and Jeff realised they had found a way.

"We registered with a surrogacy agency in the US and started saving madly for what was ahead". The agency found them a "gestational surrogate": a woman who is prepared to undergo IVF treatment using a fertilised donor egg and carry the pregnancy to full term. "The egg was from a donor and the sperm was from both of us. Then we waited to see if any eggs fertilised", recalls Rodney.

Rodney and Jeff's dream to have a child then moved forward progressively and effortlessly, as if it was meant to be. In January 2006, the pair flew to California to meet Kelly, a 29 year old mother of two from Ohio, who had agreed to act as a surrogate. The Australian couple bonded easily with the warm down to earth Kelly and her husband, Mike, and were only too happy to return to California a few months later for the first IVF treatment. Two weeks later, Rodney and Jeff's phone range at three o'clock in the morning. "We go the news that we were pregnant, " says Rodney, beaming with delight at the recollection. "We were so lucky to be successful on our very first go."

Nine months later, Rodney and Jeff checked into the local maternity hospital in Ohio with Kelly and her husband to await the birth of what they knew by then, would be a son. Everyone was ragged after Kelly's 13 hour labour, but when Ethan finally arrived everyone hugged each other with joy, including the hospital staff. "The Ohio medical team were incredibly supportive; we were so desperately excited to have a baby, says Rodney.

Today, Rodney is back at work full-time and still finds himself constantly thinking about his son in between legal work. Jeff works part-time and both dads feed, bath, change nappies, and get up in the middle of the night when required. "We both want to be involved; we both want to be the best parents we can be. Ethan doesn't have a mum - he has two dads, but most of all he has two parents," says Rodney. Ethan also has an 'auntie' in Ohio, of course, who has become a firm family friend.

Rodney and Jeff don't foresee Ethan having a tricky childhood because of the unusual circumstances surrounding his birth. "The issues that make our lives more difficult are not social," explains Rodney. "What is most frustrating is the institutionalised discrimination that occurs as a result of Australian law. This country simply does not recognise Ethan, Jeff and I as a 'family' in the normal way". The couple have recently applied for a Parental Responsibility Order from the Family Court, which will grant them the right to make major decisions about the care of their child. It is not exactly the same as parental status, but it does prescribe who is responsible for Ethan, and most importantly, it grants equal rights to a non-biological father who is part of a gay couple.

"If Ethan is admitted to hospital, for example, and needs urgent treatment, we wouldn't be able to make critical decisions about our son's wellbeing as a result [without a Parental Responsibility Order]. There are thousands of same-sex parent families in Australia who suffer this discrimination and in all cases, it's the children who suffer. But who knows? Perhaps Jeff, Ethan and I can lobby for things to change," says Rodney.

For the time being, Rodney and Jeff enjoy being a family , and like most proud parents, they're wide-eyed with pride and love as they watch their smiling boy learn to cuddle, communicate and crawl. "We won't hide anything from Ethan, "says Rodney as he, Jeff and Ethan snuggle together on the living-room sofa for a group hug. "We will always tell him everything he wants to know".

[Link: Original Article]

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The Age - "Rainbow Children" by Peter Munro

When a daddy and a daddy love each other very much ... More gays and lesbians are becoming parents, despite the obstacles in their way. Peter Munro reports.

NEXT month Rodney Cruise will become a father for the second time without having had sex with a woman. By then, it will be nine months since his first child, Ethan, was born to a surrogate in the United States, and Cruise and partner Jeff Chiang together cut the umbilical cord. They flew home to Melbourne as a family when Ethan was 11 days old, and three days later Cruise successfully donated his sperm to a lesbian couple who are close friends of theirs and who are now expecting their first child in four weeks.

Cruise, 41, a patent attorney, came out as gay when he was 13, but it is his new role as a father that attracts attention. "We both wanted to be parents and didn't see our sexuality as being a bar to that; it just complicated things," he says.

They used a surrogacy agency in California at a total cost of about $150,000, including flights and accommodation and $35,000 for their surrogate Kelly, from Ohio. They plan to return to the US before Christmas to conceive another child by surrogacy.

That child will be Cruise's third, one of a growing number of babies born of gay and lesbian parents. Victorian families with same-sex de facto partners and at least one child aged 18 or under grew by more than a third in the five years to the 2006 census. Across Australia, there were almost 2400 families with at least one gay or lesbian parent, a jump of about 26 per cent.

If anything, these figures grossly underestimate actual numbers of gay and lesbian families, many of which are not comfortable publicly divulging details of their sexuality. But they offer a good guide to the increasingly pink face of Australian families. The most startling jump in Victoria was in gay families with preschool children, with the number of declared same-sex families with children aged four or under more than doubling to 167.

Dr John McBain, director of Melbourne IVF and head of reproductive services at Royal Women's Hospital, says there is a growing acceptance of same-sex families in the wider community. "I think the public is much more tolerant now of lesbian couples becoming parents," he says. "People are far more aware that lesbian couples are loving couples in relationships as stable as heterosexual ones and that they make good parents."

Shifting public perceptions have also favoured single women wanting to start a family. Surveys show that from 1993 to 2000, the number of people who approved of the use of donor sperm to help single women conceive more than doubled to 38 per cent. Almost a third supported the use of donor sperm by gay couples, compared with only 7 per cent in 1993.

Both groups of women have sought to start families through the Royal Women's sperm storage bank, where sperm from known donors is screened for communicable diseases and frozen before it is available for self-insemination. Three months ago, the screening facility celebrated its first birth from one of the 15 women to have used the service, McBain says.

Seven years ago, McBain successfully challenged Victoria's infertility laws on behalf of a 38-year-old animal shelter worker from Box Hill South, who had tried for eight years to conceive but was refused donor sperm because she was single. The 2000 Federal Court decision, upheld on appeal to the High Court, stripped out the requirement that women must be either married or in a solid de facto relationship to access assisted reproductive technology.

But such treatment is still limited in Victoria and South Australia, alone among the states and territories, to women who are medically infertile — effectively barring both lesbian and single women who function fine but don't plan to test out their fertility with the opposite sex.

Lori, 34, and Libby, 32, a lesbian couple in western Victoria, are among a growing number of women who have had to cross the border to make a baby. In November, they will travel to Albury for their second shot at donor insemination for Libby, a horse midwife, at a clinic that is so busy it has closed its waiting list. Each attempt costs about $1500, not including the cost and inconvenience of having to stay interstate for several nights.

Lori, a part-time teacher at a Catholic primary school, who prefers not to reveal her surname, has a 10-year-old daughter from a former heterosexual relationship. She says that gays and lesbians, like the wider community, have become more accepting of parenthood.

"When I came out eight, nine years ago, there wasn't a lot of support for lesbian mums. It was more like, 'Why would you have a kid when you are gay?' And I found it really hard to fight against that stereotype," she says. "Now there are a lot more women who are saying that in a few years' time they would like to have a kid."

The couple have also advertised online for a donor, who they want to play an "uncle" role with limited contact, on Maybe Baby, one of several social groups for "rainbow families" — a mixture of homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals and transgenders. They have had responses from a gay male who has previously donated sperm to two lesbian couples and a heterosexual man who says he would like to help.

They are not alone in pursuing parenthood online. On one website, a 30-something, non-smoking gay couple want to be co-parents and a 31-year-old lesbian with a nine-year-old son is on the lookout for a donor who is extremely fit, healthy and handsome. A gay couple in Perth want a woman to carry their child. And on the Queensland coast, a male bisexual wants to assist a single woman or lesbian couple, promising to help pay for the child's rearing.

Other websites include forums with hints on DIY insemination, including the tip that women should avoid hot baths before and after they insert the syringe, and another on what name children should call their gay parents — Mum and Mumma? Dad and Pop?

The Rainbow Families Council, which was established last September, gives gay and lesbian parents the chance to meet offline as well. Felicity Marlowe, who co-ordinates the council's Love Makes a Family campaign for legal reform, says the growing visibility of same-sex parents has made more gays and lesbians consider having their own children. "Sometimes you think every second person who is queer is having a child," she says.

"We are seeing lots more requests from child-care centres and primary schools to look at how they can become more inclusive in their policies and their curriculum, because they are seeing more families with two mums or two dads."

Schools in Melbourne's inner northern suburbs are particularly inclusive of the children of gay and lesbian families, she says. That might mean simply stocking library books that include same-sex parents among their characters or amending standard letters home to refer to parent/parent rather than mother/father.

It is a long way from the day in 2004 when then acting Prime Minister John Anderson publicly criticised the ABC for a Play School episode showing a young child visiting the zoo with her two mums. The Federal Government is yet to change its tune, with Prime Minister John Howard maintaining this year that having a mother and a father gave children "the best opportunity in life".

Some sectors of the Australian public also maintain that children need a mother and father, preferably married. A spokeswoman for the Australian Family Association says: "Children need an involved, on the ground, in the house, father and mother. They don't need other mothers, adopted mothers or other fathers."

DISCRIMINATION was among the topics discussed at a symposium on same-sex parents for medical practitioners, healthcare workers and researchers at the University of Melbourne in June.

Dr Ruth McNair, a general practitioner specialising in lesbian and women's health and a senior lecturer in the department of general practice at the university, says prejudice remains a potent issue for many same-sex parents. Men in particular face some opposition both from among the general public and from within the gay community, where they might be tagged with the derogatory term "breeders".

"They are often faced with comments that lesbians would have got 20 years ago," McNair says. "Comments like, 'Why are you selling out to the mainstream, why don't you just continue the gay lifestyle'."

Such catcalls are gradually fading, though, says McNair, who is on maternity leave with her four-month-old son, Samuel, whom she parents with her lesbian partner. "There has been a huge change in the community in the past 20 years. If you look at the (Sydney) Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, the first group are always the Dykes on Bikes, but the second group is now mums with prams."

In one sense, the debate has moved on, from discussions on the concept of gay and lesbian parents to a focus on their children as they grow older. A US study last year found that the adolescent offspring of same-sex parents did not differ from the children of heterosexual couplings in self-esteem, peer relationships, school adjustment, drug use or sexual experience. The only significant difference was that the teenagers of same-sex parents coped better with prejudice and bullying.

But in another sense, the debate has stayed the same. The Australian Family Association still argues that "there is bucketloads of research" showing that children need a mother and father.

This is despite the findings of the Victorian Law Reform Commission's final report into assisted reproductive technology and adoption, which was tabled in Parliament in June. The commission made 130 recommendations for updating Victoria's infertility laws, including that people seeking to undergo treatment or to adopt must not be discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation or be excluded on the grounds that they have no partner.

The commission also recommended that Victoria scrap its "clinical infertility" bar to treatment in favour of a simple test of whether a woman, in her circumstances, is unlikely to become pregnant by any other means. Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who has sat on the report for several months, has promised to respond before the end of the year.

Cruise and Chiang first told the story of Ethan's birth to The Age in April and on the same day they were stopped in the street by a woman who thanked them for showing that her own gay son might one day give her a grandchild. "When I was young, I always wanted to be a parent but I couldn't see how it could happen. Now there is a sense within the gay community than we can have it too and why should we be denied it," Cruise says.

"Most parents want to be grandparents one day and we look forward to the day when Ethan, whether gay or straight, becomes a dad as well."


[Link: Original Article]

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Herald Sun - "Gay ceremony double dads' day" by Mary Bolling

THE champagne was popping, the roses were red, and the couple was happy - and gay.

Yesterday, Jeff Chiang and Rodney Cruise were Victoria's first gay couple to sign a relationship register.

They celebrated the event yesterday as Yarra Council launched its Relationship Declaration Register, which offers to record same-sex and mixed-sex relationships.

* Park damaged: Midsumma festival costly

While signing the register will not give the Richmond couple the rights of marriage, they're hoping it's a small step towards more rights as parents of their son Ethan.

With friends gathered, the couple used the Fitzroy Town Hall launch to exchange commitment vows.

In front of civil celebrant and fellow gay father Jason Tuazon-McCheyne, Mr Cruise and Mr Chiang promised to be faithful and loving.

"You are my best friend, my lover, and the father of my son Ethan," they said to each other. "I now proudly take your hand as you have taken my heart."

During the ceremony, Yarra Council mayor Jenny Farrar told how the couple had mortgaged their home and travelled to the United States to have baby Ethan through IVF and surrogacy.

Ethan is the biological son of one of the men, but the couple preferred not to know which one.

Under Australian law, however, the non-biological father is not allowed to formally adopt.

"It's a terrible situation to be in, that one of us doesn't have parental rights," Mr Cruise said. "Queer families -- 'rainbow families' -- are on the increase, which means a lot of children aren't protected by their parents having rights."

Mr Chiang held four-month-old Ethan during the ceremony.

Yarra Council voted unanimously to introduce the Relationship Register earlier this year, following the lead of Melbourne City Council.

Last month, the State Government also bowed to pressure from councils and lobby groups, promising to introduce a statewide register by the end of the year.

[Link: Original Article]

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ABC TV - Stateline Victoria - "Government considering widespread remorms to the state's IVF and surrogancy laws" by Cheryl Hall

Transcript - Stateline Victoria - "Government considering widespread remorms to the state's IVF and surrogancy laws" by Cheryl Hall

JACKIE ROBINSON, MOTHER: What better proof do you need, apart from looking at them. You can tell they're certainly --

BRETT ROBINSON, FATHER: If you look at them, you can tell they're ours.

JACKIE ROBINSON: Certainly Brett's.

BRETT ROBINSON: Chad's more like me and Todd’s more like you.

CHERYL HALL, REPORTER: Brett and Jackie Robinson are the proud parents of twin boys, Chad and Todd. Using their own eggs and sperm, the boys were conceived through IVF. But as Jackie Robinson has explained to her sons, they were carried by a friend who acted as a surrogate mother.

JACKIE ROBINSON: Belinda, bless her, she was absolutely fantastic in what she's done for us. Her whole idea was just to help us out to become a family and she did a fantastic job and she said that's where it stops. When the boys are born, they're ours and for us to raise as we see fit.

BRETT ROBINSON: We can't thank her enough for what they’ve done. That's great. We're very happy.

CHERYL HALL: But the complications began even before the boys were born.

JACKIE ROBINSON: We were originally under the impression that Brett was going to be allowed to be on the birth certificate and we thought with that, we can later have me added. That didn't worry us, just so long as one of us was on the birth certificate to start with was great. Then we found out, after Belinda was already pregnant, or carrying the boys, that they had to be a legally married couple to even go into the process, so from that day on Mark's name is on it and neither of us got a look in.

CHERYL HALL: Under Victorian law it's the surrogate mother, the woman who gives birth, who is listed as the mother on the birth certificate, and her husband is listed as the father. It's created endless problems for Jackie and Brett Robinson, who have no legal parenting rights over their sons.

JACKIE ROBINSON: I actually found out when one of my boys was going in to have his tonsils out and I was just discussing with the nurse as we were carrying him in to be anaesthetized. I was saying to the nurse the size of the boys and she said, “You must have been huge,” and I said, “I didn’t actually carry them,” and I explained to her that we had a wonderful surrogate who did that for us. She said, "Do you realise you can't admit your boy in the hospital? You have to have the surrogate's consent because she's the legal mother." That really spun me out then. I thought, “That can't be right, they’re my boys.” If we ever need to apply for passports, we have to get Belinda's consent on almost anything, which is not right. It's crazy. The laws are crazy.

CHERYL HALL: There's no doubt the Robinsons are the biological parents of Chad and Todd. They've even had DNA tests to prove it, but it changes nothing. The legal limbo created by the current laws isn't limited to the traditional family unit. It also affects a growing community of gay and lesbian parents who have found ways to have children. Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise spent $150,000 in the United States to have baby Ethan, through an anonymous egg donor and a surrogate mother.

JEFF CHIANG-CRUISE, PARENT: Before we had Ethan we socialised with other gay dads so we got a lot of ideas from them and got a lot of advice from them as well.

CHERYL HALL: What's been the hardest bit?

JEFF CHIANG-CRUISE: Initially probably waking up (indistinct) but he's being very good to us and he's sleeping through the night for the last 1.5 months.

CHERYL HALL: One of them is the biological father; the surrogate mother is listed on the birth certificate as unknown. But the bureaucratic problems started once they arrived back in Melbourne.

RODNEY CHIANG-CRUISE, PARENT: One of us is the biological father of Ethan and one of us is the non-biological father of Ethan. The non-biological father has no parenting rights in Australia. It presents issues when applying for a passport. It could present issues if Ethan gets sick and needs medical treatment in hospital. We could be presented with problems there. But the biggest fear is if the biological father does die, Ethan actually has no parent at all, no relative at all under the law, even though he has another father.

CHERYL HALL: Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise are planning to be the first couple on the City of Yarra's new relationship register when it opens on 7 May. They hope the council register and the one being set up by the State Government will inadvertently help the non-biological parent to adopt Ethan by providing evidence a relationship exists. But that's a move that will be opposed by the powerful Christian lobby. They support the relationship register, as long as it doesn't mimic marriage and doesn't open the door to adoption or parenting rights for same sex couples.

ROB WARD, AUSTRALIAN CHRISTIAN LOBBY: The register doesn't allow that. That would be a consequential change to other acts like the Adoption Act and so on. We feel the best interests of the child might not be served in that situation.

CHERYL HALL: Why not?

ROB WARD: The evidence seems to be pretty clear that the best interests of a child are served by having a mother and a father present, and that would be the ideal that we would be aiming for.

CHERYL HALL: If the State Government follows the interim recommendations of the Law Reform Commission, Jackie and Brett Robinson will be recognised as parents, with the surrogate's consent. But Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise face bigger hurdles. Under the interim recommendations, they could have a child through altruistic surrogacy, but not commercial surrogacy. The Christian lobby is opposing both.

ROB WARD: I would say that there is a great deal of sympathy for infertile couples - I’m talking here married, heterosexual couples. Let me make that distinction really clear. There is a great deal of sympathy for people who are infertile. I’m not quite sure that we're ready to rush down the road and to open the door, if you like, to surrogacy for all. Certainly not for homosexual couples.

CHERYL HALL: Can you say what you think would be best for the child in this situation?

ROB WARD: Firstly for it not to have happened. This couple, and perhaps others like them, are making a deliberate choice, a conscious decision, to bring about a child that doesn't have proper parents in the normal sense. One wonders, down the track, what the future for that child might be, how confused that child might be about who its mother was, who its father is.

CHERYL HALL: Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise believe the community is ready to accept gay and lesbian families.

RODNEY CHIANG-CRUISE: We’ve had nothing but positive experiences. The community looks at a family and it doesn't matter what shape it is, and if it's happy and they see the kids are looked after and loved, that's what matters.
: What better proof do you need, apart from looking at them. You can tell they're certainly --

BRETT ROBINSON: If you look at them, you can tell they're ours.

JACKIE ROBINSON: Certainly Brett's.

BRETT ROBINSON: Chad's more like me and Todd’s more like you.

CHERYL HALL: Brett and Jackie Robinson are the proud parents of twin boys, Chad and Todd. Using their own eggs and sperm, the boys were conceived through IVF. But as Jackie Robinson has explained to her sons, they were carried by a friend who acted as a surrogate mother.

JACKIE ROBINSON: Belinda, bless her, she was absolutely fantastic in what she's done for us. Her whole idea was just to help us out to become a family and she did a fantastic job and she said that's where it stops. When the boys are born, they're ours and for us to raise as we see fit.

BRETT ROBINSON: We can't thank her enough for what they’ve done. That's great. We're very happy.

CHERYL HALL: But the complications began even before the boys were born.

JACKIE ROBINSON: We were originally under the impression that Brett was going to be allowed to be on the birth certificate and we thought with that, we can later have me added. That didn't worry us, just so long as one of us was on the birth certificate to start with was great. Then we found out, after Belinda was already pregnant, or carrying the boys, that they had to be a legally married couple to even go into the process, so from that day on Mark's name is on it and neither of us got a look in.

CHERYL HALL: Under Victorian law it's the surrogate mother, the woman who gives birth, who is listed as the mother on the birth certificate, and her husband is listed as the father. It's created endless problems for Jackie and Brett Robinson, who have no legal parenting rights over their sons.

JACKIE ROBINSON: I actually found out when one of my boys was going in to have his tonsils out and I was just discussing with the nurse as we were carrying him in to be anaesthetized. I was saying to the nurse the size of the boys and she said, “You must have been huge,” and I said, “I didn’t actually carry them,” and I explained to her that we had a wonderful surrogate who did that for us. She said, "Do you realise you can't admit your boy in the hospital? You have to have the surrogate's consent because she's the legal mother." That really spun me out then. I thought, “That can't be right, they’re my boys.” If we ever need to apply for passports, we have to get Belinda's consent on almost anything, which is not right. It's crazy. The laws are crazy.

CHERYL HALL: There's no doubt the Robinsons are the biological parents of Chad and Todd. They've even had DNA tests to prove it, but it changes nothing. The legal limbo created by the current laws isn't limited to the traditional family unit. It also affects a growing community of gay and lesbian parents who have found ways to have children. Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise spent $150,000 in the United States to have baby Ethan, through an anonymous egg donor and a surrogate mother.

JEFF CHIANG-CRUISE: Before we had Ethan we socialised with other gay dads so we got a lot of ideas from them and got a lot of advice from them as well.

CHERYL HALL: What's been the hardest bit?

JEFF CHIANG-CRUISE: Initially probably waking up (indistinct) but he's being very good to us and he's sleeping through the night for the last 1.5 months.

CHERYL HALL: One of them is the biological father; the surrogate mother is listed on the birth certificate as unknown. But the bureaucratic problems started once they arrived back in Melbourne.

RODNEY CHIANG-CRUISE: One of us is the biological father of Ethan and one of us is the non-biological father of Ethan. The non-biological father has no parenting rights in Australia. It presents issues when applying for a passport. It could present issues if Ethan gets sick and needs medical treatment in hospital. We could be presented with problems there. But the biggest fear is if the biological father does die, Ethan actually has no parent at all, no relative at all under the law, even though he has another father.

CHERYL HALL: Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise are planning to be the first couple on the City of Yarra's new relationship register when it opens on 7 May. They hope the council register and the one being set up by the State Government will inadvertently help the non-biological parent to adopt Ethan by providing evidence a relationship exists. But that's a move that will be opposed by the powerful Christian lobby. They support the relationship register, as long as it doesn't mimic marriage and doesn't open the door to adoption or parenting rights for same sex couples.

ROB WARD: The register doesn't allow that. That would be a consequential change to other acts like the Adoption Act and so on. We feel the best interests of the child might not be served in that situation.

CHERYL HALL: Why not?

ROB WARD: The evidence seems to be pretty clear that the best interests of a child are served by having a mother and a father present, and that would be the ideal that we would be aiming for.

CHERYL HALL: If the State Government follows the interim recommendations of the Law Reform Commission, Jackie and Brett Robinson will be recognised as parents, with the surrogate's consent. But Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise face bigger hurdles. Under the interim recommendations, they could have a child through altruistic surrogacy, but not commercial surrogacy. The Christian lobby is opposing both.

ROB WARD: I would say that there is a great deal of sympathy for infertile couples - I’m talking here married, heterosexual couples. Let me make that distinction really clear. There is a great deal of sympathy for people who are infertile. I’m not quite sure that we're ready to rush down the road and to open the door, if you like, to surrogacy for all. Certainly not for homosexual couples.

CHERYL HALL: Can you say what you think would be best for the child in this situation?

ROB WARD: Firstly for it not to have happened. This couple, and perhaps others like them, are making a deliberate choice, a conscious decision, to bring about a child that doesn't have proper parents in the normal sense. One wonders, down the track, what the future for that child might be, how confused that child might be about who its mother was, who its father is.

CHERYL HALL: Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise believe the community is ready to accept gay and lesbian families.

RODNEY CHIANG-CRUISE: We’ve had nothing but positive experiences. The community looks at a family and it doesn't matter what shape it is, and if it's happy and they see the kids are looked after and loved, that's what matters.

[Link: ABC Transcript]

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The Age - "Baby Ethan a priceless 'gift' worth every cent" by Carol Nadar

IT'S hard to tell who baby Ethan's biological father is. And that's the way his parents, Rodney and Jeff Chiang-Cruise, intended it to be.

The Melbourne couple recently returned from Ohio with their three-month old son, who was conceived in the US through a surrogacy arrangement.

They used two egg donors. Sperm from Rodney, who is Caucasian, was used to create an embryo with an Asian donor's egg. Sperm from Jeff, who has an Asian background, was fertilised with a Caucasian donor's egg. Both embryos were implanted into the surrogate, Kelly.

If both embryos were successful, the men would each be the biological parent of a twin.

If one was successful — as it turned out — the child would at least have physical traits from both their backgrounds.

A DNA test after Ethan's birth confirmed who the biological father is. But that information, they say, is for Ethan to know.

Their son will never know, however, the identity of his biological mother.

Australian gay couples are increasingly seeking surrogacy arrangements in the US to fulfil their parental dreams.

To meet the $150,000 cost of conceiving Ethan, of which up to a quarter went to the surrogate, Rodney and Jeff remortgaged their house. Rodney says it is "just really shitty" that loving couples have to travel to become parents.

The Law Reform Commission says gay and lesbian couples and single women should have equal access to surrogacy as others.

Rodney says conservative opponents such as the Catholic Church should direct their energy into caring for neglected or abused children living in conventional families.

"They should stop worrying about people who are creating families out of love," he says.

Rodney is comfortable with the commercial aspect of Ethan's conception. The surrogate made some money, but she already had her own family.

"This was a gift that she wanted to share with somebody else."

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