Rodney, Michael and Francisco – 3 Gay Dads talking about their experience on being and becoming Gay Dads on Joy 94.9 – Saturday Magazine – 30 May 2009. Listen Below.
[Link: Joy 94.9]
Click on the above link to watch Trevor and Peter’s Sixty Minutes story on the birth of their twins via surrogacy in India.
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Rodney Chiang-Cruise
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THE Premier, Nathan Rees, is set to dump plans to legalise gay adoption as part of a deal with MP Fred Nile to secure his vote on key legislation in the upper house, Labor sources say.
Mr Nile met the Premier two weeks ago and lobbied for the dumping of plans to legalise adoption by same-sex couples - something the gay community has been fighting for for years.
It was reported two years ago that legislation to allow same-sex couples to adopt was not far away after discussions involving the NSW Attorney-General, John Hatzistergos.
Last year the Community Services Minister, Linda Burney, sent the proposal to a parliamentary inquiry, which is due to report soon.
Mr Rees is said by some to have spoken last year about how he would be prepared to take on the likes of the Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, George Pell, on the bill. But now sources say he is backing down. Mr Nile denies he would be part of any "deal" but confirmed discussing the matter with Mr Rees a fortnight ago in the Premier's office at Parliament House.
"I don't know anything officially but we'd be very pleased if it's off the agenda," Mr Nile said.
"I obviously don't support it. We have had a few discussions over the past few months. I have got no guarantee but I am hoping it [dropping the proposal] will occur."
The co-convener of the Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby, Emily Gray, said gay adoption legislation had already been introduced in Western Australia and there had been other gay law reforms here, so holding up gay adoption legislation would be a case of "politics over equality".
"NSW guaranteed de facto status to same-sex couples in 1999. Last June the Government introduced laws recognising lesbian mothers. We would say the one thing that remains in the way of equality in NSW for same-sex couples and their families is the … adoption laws," Ms Gray said.
Passing the legislation was mostly about benefiting existing couples, she said.
For example, a woman may have a child through artificial insemination and meet a lesbian partner when the child was very young but, under present arrangements, the other woman would not be able to adopt the baby as a parent.
Mr Nile said he had also asked the Premier to agree to 12 private member's bills, including "Nicole's law" - a proposal by Mr Nile to name all pedophiles on an internet site, similar to the infamous "Megan's law" in the United States.
He denied the passage of government bills was discussed.
"I have never made a deal in my life," Mr Nile said.
A Greens MP, Lee Rhiannon, said she had wanted to introduce her own private member's bill two years ago that would have given the green light to gay adoption, but the Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby had believed they would be successful with the Government.
"[Mr] Rees should respect the role of the Legislative Council to debate and vote on bills on their merit, rather than do backroom deals with [Mr] Nile," Ms Rhiannon said.
A spokeswoman for Mr Rees said: "The Premier doesn't comment on private meetings but regarding the issue, he has heard a range of views and there's currently a parliamentary inquiry in the upper house [on the matter]."
[Link: Original Article]
LIZ HAYES: In a hospital in the suburbs of Mumbai, an Indian woman is about to give birth to twins. But of the 24 million births in Indian every year, these babies will be among the first of a new era. In the waiting room outside the theatre the anxious parents are pacing. Any last minute thoughts?
PETER WEST: Is it too late to go back? (LAUGHS)
TREVOR ELWELL: Don't even go there!
LIZ HAYES: Trevor Elwell and Peter West, a gay couple from Melbourne, have paid $40,000 for this moment - children conceived with their sperm in a test tube from donated eggs and implanted into another woman. Surrogate babies - now available to just about anyone who wants one. What are you thinking? Boys, girls, boy and girl?
PETER WEST: A boy and a girl would be good but we think it's going be two boys. As long as they've got 10 fingers and 10 toes and all the bits in between, that's all that matters.
LIZ HAYES: That is all that matters. For the surrogate who has no genetic link to the babies she's carried, giving birth is the end of a 9-month business arrangement. She and the woman who donated her eggs have agreed never to see these children. Instead, the babies are cleaned up and immediately introduced to their fathers. The only parents they'll ever know. DOCTOR: Hearty, hearty congratulations, two lovely baby girls.
PETER WEST: Oh, thank you. DOCTOR: I will get them for you.
TREVOR ELWELL: Oh, bless you, bless you.
PETER WEST: Aren't they beautiful.
TREVOR ELWELL: Yes, you are, aren't you.
LIZ HAYES: Welcome to the rest of your life. How does it feel?
PETER WEST: Words can't describe it.
LIZ HAYES: This is the most natural thing in the world for you now?
PETER WEST: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
LIZ HAYES: This story began four years ago in the suburbs of Melbourne. Peter and Trevor were in a serious relationship, both successful in work, Peter runs a small business from home and Trevor is an IT consultant. And they share a comfortable home. But still, it wasn't enough.
PETER WEST: I can't imagine my life without children. There'd definitely be something missing. our lives just wouldn't seem complete.
LIZ HAYES: Are you getting a sense of the clock ticking?
PETER WEST: Oh definitely, there's definitely the maternity clock.
LIZ HAYES: In your case the paternity clock?
PETER WEST: Yes! There's definitely a genetic clock ticking, of some sort, in there, yes. The obvious problem Peter and Trevor had is that they're men. And as a gay couple, adoption and commercial surrogacy is illegal in Australia. Ironically India, a country where it's against the law to be homosexual, provided the surrogate solution. Of course, you're gay, has that stopped you in the least?
PETER WEST: I'm not but my boyfriend is.
LIZ HAYES: Did that stop you in the least in considering having children?
PETER WEST: It didn't stop us but it made us pause.
TREVOR ELWELL: But our lives are so embedded with friends, family that have children, it just did not seem an issue.
LIZ HAYES: So you're just a couple of boys from the 'burbs who wanted babies?
PETER WEST: Pretty much, yeah.
LIZ HAYES: For those who, for whatever reason, can't have children, the desire to be parents can be overwhelming and like Peter and Trevor, they'll search the world to fulfil their dreams. Many come here to Rotunda Clinic in Mumbai. From the outside it may not be what you were hoping for, but step inside and you could be well on your way to starting a family.
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: It's going to take just two minutes this is a non-invasive procedure.
LIZ HAYES: Dr Gautam Allahbadia is a fertility specialist who runs what he describes as "a baby factory". So you're standing right where it all happens?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes, this is our temple.
LIZ HAYES: It's standard IVF. But what sets Dr Allahbadia apart is that his services are available to everyone, regardless of sexual preference or marital status.
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: I believe every human being has a right to procreate and as long as I'm practising medicine within the Indian law, you know, I would offer this service to anybody.
LIZ HAYES: So single men, single women?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes.
LIZ HAYES: Gay couples?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes.
LIZ HAYES: Anyone who can't have a baby comes to you?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes, and we are getting more and more complex cases.
PETER WEST: We're a same sex couple, is that going to be an issue? Brilliant.
LIZ HAYES: Peter and Trevor found the clinic on the web. It's a one-stop shop, where eggs and sperm and the services of surrogates can be purchased. Trevor and Peter selected the mother of their twins without meeting her. Was there any particular characteristic, though, that you thought...yes!
PETER WEST: Yeah, she's had pregnancies before, she's healthy, she doesn't have any blood disorders or issues or anything like that.
TREVOR ELWELL: At the end of the day you just go, "she looks like a nice lady".
LIZ HAYES: Donor eggs can be bought for about a $1,000. They're then fertilised in the laboratory and implanted into a surrogate who receives about $5,000. And if this process seems to lack romance now, it's about to get a whole lot more impersonal.
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: The most fascinating thing is that you don't have to come to India. You have to just send your sperms by DHL. We find an egg donor. We get your surrogate pregnant. You just come down, pick up your baby, and go back home.
LIZ HAYES: My head spins. I don't even have to attend?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: But this is what is happening and this is the future. We have very busy Americans, single men, lawyers, professionals, doctors, at the pinnacle of their profession who say they don't have the time to take out a week and come down to India.
LIZ HAYES: Trevor and Peter did visit the clinic to start the process, but have still had to watch the pregnancy from 10,000km away.
TREVOR ELWELL: We don't get to be there. A heterosexual couple who, where the wife is pregnant you know, the husband gets to see the baby grow the woman gets to feel the baby inside her. We actually haven't had that yet.
LIZ HAYES: Have you had cravings? Have you had growing pains?
PETER WEST: Pickles and icecream? No,
TREVOR ELWELL: But we've actually felt a huge change within us occur.
PETER WEST: And this is the new nursery.
LIZ HAYES: Oh my goodness, it looks like a shop. That change has seen them nesting... ..and of course there's that time honoured baby shower. Any fears?
PETER WEST: Oh hell yeah! Absolutely terrified, absolutely terrified, but the good type of terrified.
LIZ HAYES: Finally, last week, after all the preparation and expectation Trevor and Peter became a family of four. And like most first time parents it's all a bit overwhelming.
PETER WEST: This is Gaia Ellen Kathleen. This is Evelyn Grace Honor.
LIZ HAYES: Wow, beautiful names.
TREVOR ELWELL: Beautiful girls!
LIZ HAYES: Gaia and Evelyn are healthy and content. Trevor will take leave to help Peter care for their babies. The surrogate, the woman who gave birth to them, prefers to remain anonymous. But there are many like her, women prepared to rent their wombs. Poverty-stricken women like Razia. Razia was paid US$5,000 to deliver twins two years ago. But she did it in total secrecy. How did you explain to people when you had your babies and they were not with you? TRANSLATOR: For the people who found out that she'd gone to hospital her husband told them that the child was not doing well, and had to be kept in an incubator. And when she came back home she said "look, I'm you know, "the child didn't survive."
LIZ HAYES: The money has helped Razia and her husband, a tuk tuk driver, educate their three children. They're also saving for a new home. And despite it being against her Muslim beliefs, she's going to do it all again. Would it matter to you if the parents were gay? TRANSLATOR: No, she's not happy about that.
LIZ HAYES: But you do know it is possible that that could happen? TRANSLATOR: Yes, she's heard about these things but she'd rather do it for a couple who's really looking for children.
LIZ HAYES: Would it be disappointing to learn that the surrogate doesn't approve?
TREVOR ELWELL: No, not really. We're just content and happy. We're a good couple, were good people we'll do as good or bad job as any old heterosexual father, mother, you know, we'll make the same mistakes. Parents! Show me a perfect parent.
LIZ HAYES: I don't know of any,
TREVOR ELWELL: That's right!
LIZ HAYES: Do you ever stop and think about the children that you're creating and the complex way that they're being brought into the world?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Maybe I'm too busy doing making babies now, I haven't really sat down and contemplated and thought.
LIZ HAYES: Isn't it morally proper for us to consider the children?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Isn't it morally right that every human being is entitled to propagate his own genes?
LIZ HAYES: But aren't these children burdened, before they draw their first breath?
DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: I don't think so. Because the world is changing rapidly. By the time they are adults, by the time they grow up I think this will be the norm rather than an exception.
LIZ HAYES: How will you tell your children or are you just going to let them work it out?
TREVOR ELWELL: There's no hiding the fact that we're two guys. They're gonna grow up finding this totally normal until they see otherwise and then, you know, when they start asking questions we'll give them the answers.
LIZ HAYES: Yeah, they're pretty big issues for kiddies, aren't they?
PETER WEST: Yep.
LIZ HAYES: Gay dads, donor eggs, surrogate, India.
TREVOR ELWELL: Yeah.
LIZ HAYES: You've got answers?
TREVOR ELWELL: Getting answers. Step by step.
LIZ HAYES: Having your own children is now possible for so many for whom this once could never be. It's just a matter of price. Love it or hate it, there's no stopping it. Although in this case it's easy to see that these babies are truly treasured.
TREVOR ELWELL: The last week I've had two sleepless nights just waking up thinking about the babies and it's a completely different fear than I've ever had in my life. You know, this is the one thing you can't give up. This is the one thing where there is no choice, it has to work.
LIZ HAYES: There's no turning back.
PETER WEST: And it will work.
TREVOR ELWELL: It will work.
[Link: Original Article]
Two Melbourne men have become the first Australian gay couple to have a baby via a surrogate mother.
Trevor Elwell and Peter West paid $40,000 for a woman in India to give birth to their twin girls Gaia and Evelyn, the Nine Network's 60 Minutes will report tonight.
The girls, born last week, were conceived with the couple's sperm in a test tube with eggs bought over the internet.
Adoption and commercial surrogacy is illegal for homosexuals in Australia, but there is no law against providing the service in India.
Fertility specialist Dr Gautum Allahbadia, who coordinated the birth of the twins, said he had no scruples about helping Elwell and West start a family.
"I believe every human being has a right to procreate and as long as I’m practising medicine within the purview of Indian law ... I would offer this service to anybody," he said.
Dr Allahbadia said the process of ordering a surrogate baby had been made remarkably simple.
"The most fascinating thing is that you don’t have to come to India," he said.
"You have to just send your sperm by [courier]. We find an egg donor, we get your surrogate pregnant.
"You just come down, pick up your baby, and go back home."
Elwell and West told 60 Minutes the birth of their twin girls had felt natural and "absolutely right".
But West conceded there would come a time when some difficult questions were directed their way.
"There’s no hiding the fact that we’re two guys," he said.
"They’re going to grow up finding this totally normal until they see otherwise and then, you know, when they start asking questions we’ll give them the answers."
[Link: Original Article]
Posted by
Rodney Chiang-Cruise
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12:04 AM
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Stephen Page’s blog is one of my favourites. He covers Australian GLBTI issues in a clear and concise manner, finding gems of information buried where us mere humans would never find them! Here is another piece he has just published on a Family Court case where the sexuality of the participants was irrelevant….just as it should be.
In the last few days, my attention was drawn to a decision of the Family Court from last year, Wells and Roberts (No 2). This was a case concerning the care of children, and whether they should see their father in the UK. The father had not filed relevant documentation for the trial.
What struck me when I read the judgment was what it didn't say. This is the relevant passage from the judgment:
The mother lives in Sydney with her partner, Ms M, who is 55 years of age. The mother and Ms M have been in a relationship since late 2003. Ms M has three sons, aged 28, 26, and 24; two of whom live in Australia.
That's it. Nothing was said that the mother and Ms M were in a lesbian relationship. Nothing was said that was in any way critical of that relationship. Ms M only gained one further mention in the judgment, when she was described as the mother's witness.
What was particularly striking about this passage was that there was no issue about the sexual orientation of the mother and her partner, and the focus of the case was where it should have been - what was in the best interests of the children, without being hung up on preconceptions and prejudice.
[Link: Original Article]
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Rodney Chiang-Cruise
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In a move that is set to make it easier for gay and lesbian couples to become parents, Queensland is to decriminalise altruistic surrogacy, Premier Anna Bligh has announced.
In a statement released by Bligh last month, the Premier said the move would give hundreds of couples the opportunity to have children.
"As a mother, I know the incredible joys parenthood can bring,” Bligh said.
“[This] decision means Queenslanders who are not able to conceive a child of their own will now have a legal avenue to do so.”
The decision follows the unanimous recommendation of a Joint Parliamentary Committee last year, to change the current Queensland law which makes all forms of surrogacy illegal.
The committee recommended decriminalising the practice of altruistic surrogacy – where a woman agrees to bear a child for another person, for no financial gain or personal benefit.
“The reality is, for some people, surrogacy is their only chance of starting a family,” said Bligh.
“It is not fair that their genuine efforts to do so could land them in jail, or see them face fines of up to $10,000.”
Queensland is currently the only state in Australia where altruistic surrogacy is considered a crime, punishable by jail.
The law will officially change by the end of this year.
[Link: Original Article]
It used to be that "Delhi belly" meant something less than pleasant was on its way. Well not any longer.
It could now mean you've made the ultimate decision, and hired a womb. An Indian woman whose taken on the job of giving birth to your child.
India has now become a major player in the baby-making business providing everything you need. Donor sperm, eggs and wombs-for-rent can all be found under the one fertility clinic roof.
I travelled to India to meet up with Peter and Trevor, a gay couple from Melbourne who had made the investment.
Nine months before they'd begun the pregnancy process after purchasing eggs from a donor and engaging the services of a surrogate, at a Mumbai fertility clinic.
They're now the proud, genetic fathers of twin girls.
None of this is new, of course. In America, for hundreds of thousands of dollars you can do the same. In India, it's much cheaper and there are fewer rules about who gets to be a parent this way.
Making babies is now something anyone can do. Single men and women, gay and straight, combinations of all kinds can sign up today!
And if you're a man, you don't even have to turn up to make a "deposit". You can courier your frozen sperm to the clinic and it will take care of the rest.
As long as you make the trip nine months later, and the bills are paid, that little bundle of joy is yours.
Yes, yes, it is the ultimate Indian outsourcing industry.
Women, so many of them, are prepared to sell their eggs or carry someone else's child for a fee. And there are plenty of banks of sperm. But, if you've ever been to India, it's not entirely a surprise.
Poverty is so very real for many families that when the chance to make more money in nine months than most could make in nineteen years comes along, it's a no-brainer.
The surrogates I met are young mothers with children of their own. The money they earn will make an enormous difference to their lives, although I got the feeling that giving birth to babies for gay couples wasn't high on their agenda.
And their husbands took some convincing, too. Many didn't believe pregnancy was possible without sexual contact. But, once the birds and the bees of the test tube tango was explained, all was well.
Still, surrogacy is often done in secrecy. Women don't usually want others to know and are afraid of the shame they may suffer for doing so. So they pretend the baby they're carrying is theirs and then, when it fails to come home with them, claim that the worst has happened. The baby has died.
It's a complicated and emotionally charged issue for everyone.
Dip your toe into the argument about the rights and wrongs of children brought into the world this way and prepare for a battle royal. I'm already suffering a nasty chaffing from the fence I know I'm straddling, but really, I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.
Plenty will tell you that making babies this way doesn't lessen their commitment or love for their children. Quite the opposite.
Perhaps it's because it's a business, I feel this unease. I'm not sure.
What I am sure of is it's a reality … and it isn't going away.
[Link: Original Article]
Posted by
Rodney Chiang-Cruise
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8:58 PM
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SURROGACY FORUM FOR GAY MEN
Gay Dads Australia
www.gaydadsaustralia.com
info@gaydadsaustralia.com
JUNE 06 2009
2:00-4.00pm
Many Gay men are now becoming Dads via surrogacy. There are Surrogacy Agencies in the United States, Canada and India all helping Australian Gay men become fathers.
Presented by members of Gay Dads Australia, the forum will be held in Melbourne and provide an opportunity for local gay men to find out more about Surrogacy and the options available in countries such as the USA, Canada and India. There is no cost to attend. The forum will be held on Saturday 06 June 2009 from 2 to 4 pm.
This is a great opportunity for interested gay singles or couples to have some of their questions answered.
- how does surrogacy work?
- how do the surrogacy laws work in the US, Canada, India?
- how do I bring my child back into Australia?
- can anyone do it
- how much does it cost
For more information contact
Gay Dads Australia
info@gaydadsaustralia.com
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Rodney Chiang-Cruise
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8:48 PM
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A final report into the NSW same-sex adoption inquiry has been postponed after the NSW Attorney General intervened in an Administrative Decisions Tribunal decision.
The highly anticipated report was due last month but has been held up while a decision is rendered in a landmark same-sex foster case, which went on appeal before the Administrative Decisions Tribunal two weeks ago.
The Wesley Mission last month appealed the decision from the 2008 case ‘OV and another v QZ and another’, in which it was found the religious-based organisation had unfairly discriminated against a same-sex couple who had applied to become foster parents.
The original case found that the organisation was not protected by religious exemptions in the Anti-Discrimination Act in its decisions to deny same-sex couples access to its foster services.
Wesley Mission was subsequently required to pay $10,000 in damages and to review its services to eliminate practices which discriminated against homosexuals.
The organisation has since appealed to the ADT to take the case to the Supreme Court.
Sydney Star Observer understands that Wesley’s action came backed by a statement from NSW Attorney General John Hatzistergos, who intervened in the case. He is said to have made a submission pointing out the state’s reliance on religious organisations for community services.
The Star has requested a copy of the submission from both the ADT and the Attorney General’s office and is awaiting a response.
A spokesman for the Attorney General’s office denied that any comments made to the ADT favoured either side of the case.
“The Attorney’s intervention in the case is not to ‘back’ or ‘support’ one party over the other. The Attorney has intervened to assist the Tribunal by providing a view as to the Government’s understanding of the effect of certain statutory provisions in the Anti-Discrimination Act,” he said.
It is expected that a decision will not be made on the Wesley appeal case for several months
[Link: Original Article]
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