Southern Star - "From Diesel and Dolce to PJs and puzzles" by Peter Cross

Last Monday we went to some friends’ place for dinner.

Normally this isn’t newsworthy but over a year ago Matt and Peter fostered two boys, T and J, brothers in need of love and stability. When they were going through the process we all said, “isn’t that wonderful, what a great thing to do … are they mad!” None of us thought through the implications and responsibilities. I don’t think even Matt and Peter did.

We turned up for dinner at their beautifully restored New York-style high ceilinged,inner city apartment. What once was a room of clear surfaces and clean lines was now an obstacle course of puzzles, Bob the Builder, toys and plastic children’s chairs. Flannelette pyjamas versus Abercrombie and Fitch. It’s gone from Sex and the City to Malcolm in the Middle. It feels and smells like a family home now. Dinner was in the oven, two tables were set, one for the boys and one for the “old” boys.

Matt and Peter have taken two brothers, both under ten, who’ve had a tough time of it, and provided them with a safe environment where they are experiencing nurturing and love for possibly the first time in their short lives. This is an act of total selflessness.

After the boys had been fed and bathed, “Grandpa” Michael read them a bedtime story and when they were safely tucked up in their beds, the adults sat down to dinner. I asked Peter and Matt how they were coping.

Their lives have changed dramatically. Things that were once important are now irrelevant. No more smart restaurants and opening nights — now it’s soccer practice and parent-teacher meetings. Lazy Sunday mornings reading the paper in bed are a fond memory when you have two Energiser bunnies waking up at dawn and wanting to rumble. The boys don’t know the meaning of downtime.

None of it’s easy. It’s a constant twenty-four hour seven day a week focus. It’s made Matt and Peter a much stronger couple who talk and more importantly, listen to each other. They have a common purpose outside of themselves, something much bigger than their own needs.

I cannot imagine where they have found the resources to achieve what they have. There’s been no nine-month pregnancy preparation. The boys landed fully formed and damaged in their laps. There have been hard times when it has seemed overwhelming. Peter travels a lot for work and T and J have not been easy. As Matt said one night, “Mommy Dearest only tells one side of the story”. He was joking but I think at that stage he was lost in the enormity of this force that has taken over his life. And yet both of them have maintained and grown their own careers.

The boys’ lives have changed dramatically as well, from abuse and anger to love and compassion. They had been shunted from one home to another. Now at last they have stability.

There is a photo of J pinned to a once-pristine beam of hardwood in the lounge room; it shows a clear-eyed, open-faced soulful child staring straight into the lens of the camera. There is no artifice, no agenda and no lie in his eyes as he stares back at you. The photo was taken on one of the first days when J felt safe enough to again look anyone directly in the face. He was so used to seeing anger, judgement and threat, now he saw love and security. It’s one of the most moving pictures that I’ve ever seen.

The change in all four of these “boys” is enormous.

Matt and Peter don’t expect or seek approval for what they are doing. I know how embarrassed they will be when they read this. They don’t think of reward or recognition. They do it because they can’t not do it. They all have grown in so many ways not only as individuals but as a couple and as a family. They are still Peter and Matt but … more.

Now that’s a Christmas.

[Link: Original Article]

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MCV - "2008: Year of Recognising Love" by Corey Irlam

2008 was a historic year for the LGBTI community in Victoria. It was the year that the government recognised our love.

The government recognised our loving relationships through a state relationships register, a registration that will automatically be recognised by the 85 laws altered by the federal government to bring same-sex de facto relationships equal with heterosexuals’.

There is no more needing to prove interdependency through joint financial statements or photo albums: Victorians can now simply declare their relationship on the register and show their registration certificate as proof of their relationship.

Now, many will say this isn’t a major achievement, because it’s not equal to marriage laws. But relationship registers or civil unions are not designed to be a marriage substitute. They’re different and provide a choice of relationship recognition to both same-sex and opposite-sex couples.

We would call on the government to make changes soon to allow one partner to live outside the state. They should also automatically recognise a relationship created in the ACT, Tasmania or even the UK. But these small changes shouldn’t diminish the excitement many couples will feel knowing they have a way to formalise their relationship.

Perhaps the largest reforms in Victoria this year were that of equal parenting laws. Nationally, the government recognised both mummies as parents of their children.

In Victoria, changes to laws regulating artificial reproductive treatments were altered to allow single women and lesbian couples to have children through IVF. Laws also recognise two dads who enter into an altruistic surrogacy arrangement.

The government has yet to indicate what it will do regarding adoption laws, but hopefully they will take similar steps towards equality.

The changing of these laws will have long, lasting effects in Victoria. The equal treatment in law is often the first step to the equal treatment in society. So let’s celebrate our love, knowing that the government does, too. Maybe one day soon, society will as well.

Corey Irlam is spokesperson for the Australian Coalition for Equality.


[Link: Original Article ]

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The Australian - "Gay Dad in Appeal to Find Son" by AAP

A GAY father has launched an international appeal for help to find his son, whom he believes may be living in Australia.

Michael Turberville has not seen seven-year-old son Ashley Skinner since the child disappeared with his mother, Joanne Skinner, more than a year ago after a custody battle, British media reported today.

Mr Turberville pleaded with anyone who knew the boy's whereabouts to alert authorities.

"It is gut-wrenching not to be able to see my son," he told the Evening Standard newspaper.

Dual US-British citizen Mr Turberville reportedly fathered Ashley with Ms Skinner after advertising in another publication for a "like-minded" lesbian. Both parents were in same-sex relationships at the time.

Ms Skinner's mother received a letter from her in April sent from the US, but Mr Turberville believes it was written in Australia and passed on to someone in America to post.

The letter said Ashley had started school.

The UK's top family court judge, High Court family division president Sir Mark Potter, took the unusual step of lifting reporting restrictions which apply in children's cases in hopes the publicity would help trace Ashley.

Anyone with information was asked to contact the Royal Courts of Justice in London on +44 207 947 6200.


[Link: Original Article ]

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Geelong Advertisers - "EDITORIAL: Rights of the child get legal backing"

THERE will no doubt be howls of protest from the traditionalists and church groups but new legislation in Victoria has finally given some certainty to families of same-sex couples.
Ostensibly, the legislation  has granted single women and lesbians increased access to IVF technology but the essence of the Bill is to provide rights for the child.

It recognises the non-biological mother and father of a surrogate child as the legal parents and recognises the female partner of a woman as the joint parent of a child.

The fact that both members of a lesbian couple have now full legal rights is a major step forward. Before the Bill, only the natural birth mother had legal rights. Therefore the other partner in the relationship had no rights in which to help the child should the natural mother die.  The child could not be included on her passport, could not be the beneficiary of  her  will, and the partner could not be privy to vital medical information.

The changes have been a long time coming. The legislation rewrites  20-year-old laws which  were in danger of becoming redundant in today's society and brings Victoria into line with other states.

Two weeks ago Federal Parliament  passed new laws giving gay and lesbian couples many of the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts.

Under the new laws, same-sex couples now have access to the same services as opposite-sex couples living together in "de facto''  relationships.

Gays and lesbians will be allowed to get family benefits under the state-run health care program and to leave their retirement benefits to their partners if they die. The changes also confer parental rights on gay and lesbian couples with children.

While the laws give same-sex partners many of the same rights and protections as married couples, they stop short of allowing gays and lesbians to wed under the Marriage Act, which was redrawn by the Howard Government to define marriage as between a man and a  woman.

Society has changed drastically in the past 20 years.

Public opinion is changing and the numbers of same sex marriages are on the rise. In Australia same sex marriages represent 0.6 per cent of all marriages. The number is far higher for relationships outside marriage.

In June last year,  in a Galaxy poll  of 1100 Australians aged 16 and over, 71 per cent  agreed  same-sex partners should have the same legal rights as de-facto heterosexual couples.  Similarly, 57 per cent  of respondents supported same-sex marriage.  Those figures show  a 20 per cent  jump in support since 2004.

Last week's Assisted Reproductive Treatment Bill is not a harbinger  of doom. It's really a contemporary piece of legislation which accurately reflects  the society in which we live.

[Link: Original Article]

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ABC News - "Mixed Response to Victoria's IVF Law Changes" by Simon Lauder

Lesbian couples and single women will soon be able to have babies using IVF treatment in Victoria, but some women and doctors say the new laws themselves are discriminatory because they include mandatory criminal background checks for prospective mothers.

There was celebration in the Upper House of Victoria's Parliament as the votes were counted last night.

The Lower House gave the Government's Assisted Reproductive Treatment Bill the final tick of approval soon after.

It means Mikaela Olijnyk and Naomi Paton can now have the family they've planned together.

"One of us has medical infertility and the other doesn't and we're both wanting to carry a child with two children related through the same donor in a way that would allow our family to be related to each other," Ms Olijnyk said.

"We fly to Perth on Wednesday to meet with a potential donor and start the negotiations," Ms Paton said.

Under the old laws, single women and lesbians had to be clinically infertile to receive IVF treatment in Victoria and even then they weren't allowed to use donor sperm from a clinic.

Natasha and Melissa had to go to great lengths to conceive their son Caius.

"We had to travel interstate every month to track ovulation and travel interstate every month in order to access donor sperm. We couldn't have access to any medical assistance at all in Victoria because I'm not infertile," Natasha said.

"I felt like we weren't considered good enough to have children, that our family is not recognised and not valued because we're not straight."

Victoria's Attorney-General Rob Hulls says the states laws are no longer in breach of the Federal Sex Discrimination Act.

"There are kids that are being born to all sorts of arrangements and they don't have appropriate legal protections and so this legislation ensures that children - regardless of the arrangements under which they've been born - are protected," he said.

"This legislation was always about kids and ensuring that children born into same sex families or as a result of surrogacy arrangements are not discriminated against."

Background checks

There is a condition in the new laws which is proving controversial - mandatory criminal background checks. The medical director of Ballarat IVF, Dr Russell Dalton, says that will delay fertility treatment in some urgent cases.

"If we have to wait for the processing of police checks prior to undertaking fertility treatment for a person who for example has breast cancer at the age of 28 and is embarking upon invasive and aggressive chemotherapy, that person is going to be significantly disadvantaged. There's no doubt about that," Dr Dalton said.

Ms Paton doesn't think she should have to pass a criminal check to get access to fertility treatment.

"We don't need the police to tell us whether we're suitable to be parents. I think it's actually quite insulting," she said.

Mr Hulls says the requirement is meant to protect children and it's not discriminatory.

"We believe we have a responsibility to kids that are born of these arrangements and as a result we believe that police checks are appropriate," Mr Hulls said.

"We don't believe it will cause any inconvenience and it will ensure that any possible, unacceptable risk of harm at least can be addressed through police checks."

Some women aren't concerned about the background checks, including Vicky who has already become a mother through IVF.

"It can't be any more invasive than the vaginal probes that you have to have every second day for scanning," she said.

Based on a report by Simon Lauder for The World Today on December 5.


[Link: Original Article ]

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The West Australian - "New VIC Law Allow Gays to 'Commission' Surrogate Children" - by - AAP

Gay men will be able to commission a baby via a surrogate mother under new Victorian laws that have angered the Christian lobby.

The landmark laws, passed in State Parliament late on Thursday, legalise surrogacy and give lesbians and single women access to fertility treatment, including IVF.

The Australian Christian Lobby has denounced the legislation as “social engineering” and says it will enable gay men to “order” a surrogate baby on demand.

“It steps outside the natural family, two men can’t (physically) have a baby,” lobby spokesman Rob Ward said.

“The wishes of homosexuals to have children should not be placed above the inalienable rights of children to start out in life with a mother and a father.”

The new laws eradicate the need for surrogate couples to travel interstate for IVF.

Previously, women had to be infertile to qualify for fertility treatment, ruling out surrogate mothers and most single and lesbian women.

The legislation also gives gay partners and parents of surrogate children legal parenting rights and allows women to conceive using the sperm of their dead partners.

Rainbow Families spokeswoman Felicity Marlowe said the notion that mums and dads made better parents was outdated and false.

“We would say that parenting and the ability to be a loving, nurturing and caring parent has no link to gender or sexuality, just as family structure doesn’t have a link to the (parenting) outcome,” she told AAP.

Ms Marlowe has three children with her partner Sarah Marlowe. Each was conceived with sperm from the same donor.

Both women were able to access IVF because they have fertility problems, otherwise they would have had to fly across the border for treatment, Felicity Marlowe said.

She said the new laws meant both women could now be recognised on their children’s birth certificates, giving them legal status as parents.

“One of the big advantages of this law change is the social recognition that comes along via law reform like this.

“What we would say is this law reform is just catching up with social attitudes that have already changed a lot...acknowledging our family makes a huge emotional and social difference to our children.”

Victorian Premier John Brumby said the legislation, which was subject to a conscience vote, was about respecting diversity of families and not passing judgment.

“It’s about respecting that there are different types of families in our society,” he said.

“It’s government in a sense getting out of the way of individuals and families - letting them make judgments without us passing judgment on what we think is right or wrong, and putting the interests of children at the forefront.”


[Link: Original Article ]

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Sydney Morning Herald - "Fertility Bill Shows Respect: Brumby" by AAP

Landmark legislation giving lesbians and single women access to fertility treatment is about respecting diversity of families and not passing judgment, Victorian Premier John Brumby says.

Speaking a day after the upper house passed the controversial Assisted Reproductive Treatment (ART) bill, Mr Brumby said the laws were a positive step and praised MPs for conducting a respectful debate.

"It's about respecting that there are different types of families in our society and that the interests of children are paramount and that's what the legislation gives effect to," Mr Brumby said on Friday.

"It's government in a sense getting out of the way of individuals and families - letting them make judgments without us passing judgment on what we think is right or wrong, and putting the interests of children at the forefront."

The Victorian upper house narrowly passed the bill 20-18 on the final sitting day of parliament for the year.

It gives single and lesbian women access to fertility treatment, including IVF, and grants gay partners and parents of surrogate children legal parenting rights.

The new laws also eradicate the need for surrogate couples to travel interstate to access reproductive treatment and allow women to conceive using the sperm of their dead partners, with prior consent.

Previously women had to be infertile to qualify for reproductive treatment, ruling surrogate mothers and most single and lesbian women out.

Those seeking fertility treatment must submit to controversial police checks and have a record free of convictions for sexual or violent offences and child protection orders.

Mr Brumby defended the clause, which was hotly contested, saying while it would be inconvenient for some people it was an appropriate safeguard.

"It's an issue really about whether the support is provided to someone who potentially has previously shown that they're not capable of bringing up children, or for example, have abused children.

"It's just aiming to protect the public interest and, I think, if you had a position where a couple who had a long history of abusing children wanted to use these procedures you'd say, well is it appropriate that a couple in those circumstances should be supported by the state, supported by taxpayers in this way?

"I think the overwhelming majority of the public would say it's not appropriate."


[Link: Original Article ]

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Herald Sun - "Gay and Single Women Win Right to Fertility Treatment" - by Nick Higginbottom

GAY and single women can have babies with fertility treatment after controversial legislation passed State Parliament.

Upper House MPs voted 20 to 18 in favour of the amended legislation at 8.30pm. The result was greeted with uproarious applause and cheers from dozens of mothers with children in the public gallery.

The amendments to the legislation then passed the Lower House just after 11pm.

Divisive elements of the Bill - that force women accessing IVF treatment to undergo police checks - were retained, despite outspoken doctors and a former judge having condemned them.

The Government was forced to introduce amendments regarding surrogacy and identity matters yesterday to curry favour with some MPs who were wavering in their support for the Bill.

Parliamentary Secretary for Justice and Labor MP Brian Tee introduced three amendments and said the Bill was all about the rights of the child.

"That's why it's a great result,'' he said.

Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who announced the legislation last December, said it was ground-breaking reform.

"It's long overdue, it modernises our laws and it ends discrimination against people who haven't been able to get access to ART (assisted reproductive technology),'' he said.

Amendments to the Bill mean:

A WOMAN who uses IVF to become a surrogate mother cannot do so for her first child, nor can she use her own eggs.

THERE will be increased counselling, particularly if something goes wrong.

A CHILD will have "donor conceived'' marked next to its name on the birth register, but not on its birth certificate


[Link: Original Article ]

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Sydney Star Observer - " Gay Adoption Next" - by Harley Dennet

The NSW Government has promised a parliamentary inquiry into legalising same-sex adoption after making changes to speed up the approval process for heterosexuals.

“The issue of same-sex adoption was not included in the amendments, however, it was agreed the issue would be referred to the Law and Justice Committee,” a spokesman for Community Services Minister Linda Burney said. “We look forward to the committee’s findings and when the report is due we’ll look at the issue.”

The inquiry will hold hearings early in 2009 to coincide with a separate ongoing inquiry into altruistic surrogacy.

This comes more than 10 years after the NSW Law Reform Commission recommended the current ban against same-sex couples be dropped, and more than two years since another review by the Department of Community Services was handed to the Government.

Attempts by Sydney Star Observer to obtain the 2006 DOCS report through freedom of information laws were unsuccessful as it contained recommendations. It is still not confirmed that the report recommended legalising same-sex adoption.

Stranger adoptions are uncommon due to the low number of Australian children available — around 20 per year. Countries allowing overseas adoptions generally do not use same-sex couples.

Most cases where same-sex adoption would apply are in existing foster arrangements with a gay couple.

The Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby strongly supported the inquiry into the last piece of NSW law that still discriminates against same-sex couples.

“NSW is in the ludicrous position of allowing individual lesbians and gay men to be assessed for adoption eligibility, but not same-sex couples. This discrimination hurts children by denying legal and social recognition to lesbian and gay parents,” Lobby spokesman Peter Johnson said.

“Adoption reform is essential for long-term foster carers, some step-parents and co-parents. Adoption would give children the economic and emotional stability which comes with the recognition of their families.”

This year co-mothers were given the right to legally adopt the biological children of their partner if they participated in the artificial conception process. But co-fathers were not included.

The inquiry into altruistic surrogacy laws heard in October gay men have
been seeking commercial surrogacy options in the US due to a lack of parenting options in Australia. That inquiry is not expected to report until the second half of 2009. Liberal powerbroker David Clarke is on both inquiries.


[Link: Original Article ]

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Southern Star - "Victorian Couples Recognised" by Andie Noonan

After sharing eight years and one son together, Rodney Cruise and Jeff Chiang are finally an official couple in the eyes of  the law.

Cruise and Chiang were among the first couples to take advantage of the Victorian Relationships Register, which opened this week and will allow same-sex couples to formally register their unions.

With 23-month-old son Ethan in their arms, the pair registered at the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on Monday, the register’s first day, with three other same-sex couples.

Victorian Parliament passed laws earlier this year to allow unmarried heterosexual and same-sex domestic partners to formalise their relationships with a registry scheme.

Registration will now provide conclusive proof of a domestic relationship under Victorian law.

The Victorian scheme mirrors those operating in the ACT and Tasmania .

Cruise told Southern Star it was an important step on the road to what he and his partner hope will be the right to marry.

Cruise said the two decided to formalise their union for both practical and symbolic reasons.

“If one of us died, I don’t want to be having to prove the person just buried is my partner to disbelieving public servants or banks or whoever,” he said.

“It’s really important knowing our family will be recorded in official government documents.

“The historic nature of it is that gay families are recognised for the first time. We are a recognised part of the community.”

Although there are no planned festivities, the couple celebrated their anniversary with a recent trip to Japan, and, more importantly for Ethan, a trip to Disneyland.

Deputy Premier and Attorney-General Rob Hulls launched the scheme, saying it was a significant day for those who cannot or don’t wish to marry, to have their relationship respected.

“This will make it easier for couples to access their rights under Victorian law and provide certainty to their legal obligations, without having to argue repeatedly that they are in a committed partnership or to have to prove this in court,” he said.

Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission CEO, Dr Helen Szoke welcomed couples to the first day of registration.

Registering couples need to be 18 years or older, live in Victoria and not be married or in another domestic relationship already registered in Victoria.

Registering a relationship will cost $180, with additional costs for a registration certificate.

info: www.bdm.vic.gov.au

[Link: Original Article]

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MCV - "Couples Register their Love"

Same-sex couples lined up to register their relationships at the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on Monday.

The Brumby Government’s new Relationships Register was launched by Deputy Premier and Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who said it provided couples who did not want to marry or who were unable to do so with formal recognition of their committed relationship.

John Edie and his partner, Adam, were among those couples who registered their relationship on Monday.

“It’s wonderful that the state of Victoria is now recognising same-sex relationships, and it was exciting to be among the first couples at this morning’s launch,” Edie told MCV.

“Being a New Zealander, where we’ve had the Civil Union Bill for a number of years, it’s nice to see Australia starting to catch up, and this is an important step. I would encourage all those Victorian couples in committed relationships to show support for the Register, by going in and registering.”

[Link: Original Article]

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