Tuesday, January 29, 2008

SBS TV - "Two Men & Two Babies" by Emma Cummings

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"It is five years since Alexander's birth, and Tony and Lee now have a second child, Lucinda through surrogacy. Same egg donor, same surrogate. The sequel documents the intervening years since Alexander's birth and provides a unique insight into the world of this alternative family".

Two Men & Two Babies – "A follow-up documentary that takes audiences back into the lives of Tony Wood and Lee Matthews, one of the first Australian gay male couples to take what was then, the controversial step of creating a new family through commercial surrogacy in the United States"

Man Made: The Story Of Two Men & A Baby "explored Tony and Lee's overwhelming desire to have a child, their decision to pursue commercial surrogacy, and their fraught journey to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to experience the birth of their son Alexander to a surrogate, Junoa".
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Saturday, January 26, 2008

National Geographic - "Swimming Against the Tide"

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"Swimming Against The Tide is a series of stories about Australians who have chosen to live their lives their way. Told in their own words this programme is an invitation into the lives of people who, while they fit into the society around them, are doing something a little different to the rest of us. Meet a gay couple (Rodney Cruise & Jeff Chiang) who have adopted a baby son and are loving their new found fatherhood in Melbourne".

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Age Green Guide - "Dads Double Their Brood" by Larry Schwartz

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Dads double their brood - Larry Schwartz revisits two men and their second child and film.

TWO Melbourne men, featured in a 2003 documentary showing how they turned to a Los Angeles agency to have a baby because commercial surrogacy is illegal here, were looking forward to a second child.

Tony Wood and partner Lee Matthews faced a new challenge. "When we found out that our second child was a girl, we were delighted," says Wood, an employment lawyer at a large city firm. "But in a sense a boy would have been easier because we understand boys and we know how men work.

"I'll tell you, having a girl's the most enlightening experience. As much as you might want to say, 'I'm not going to gender-stereotype this child', she bloody well loves pink dresses and dolls and all that kind of stuff. It's amazing. It's a wonderful experience. We love her to pieces."

Lucinda, whose arrival is featured in the follow-up documentary, Two Men and Two Babies (part of SBS' Future Families series) is two years and three months old. She was born to Junoa, who also gave birth to her five-year-old brother, Alexander.

When I interviewed the couple almost five years ago before the screening of the first documentary, Man Made: The Story of Two Men and a Baby, Matthews, a businessman now in his late 30s, said he hoped Alexander would grow up to be straight so that he would have "one less hurdle to jump".

"We just want them to be fulfilled in their own desires and their own expectations," says Wood, reminded of this comment. "And they will be what they will be."

They are among the first gay men in Australia to have children this way. Wood says they now know of about 20 children born through commercial surrogacy.

But two men and a pram is still a relatively unfamiliar sight and some people ask questions. "They say, 'Where's mum?"' says Wood. "And you say, 'There is no mum. There are two dads."'

While laws in most Australian states and territories are restrictive, the ACT permits altruistic (non-commercial) surrogacy. Wood says he and Matthews would have preferred to adopt but this is not permitted here.

In the new documentary, he says commercial surrogacy "can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars" and he regrets that it can be prohibitive.

He says he and Matthews agreed to the second documentary despite "a high degree of ambivalence", partly because director Emma Crimmings, who received an Inside Film Award and Logie nomination for the first Man Made, is a friend.

They reasoned also that the early documentary had helped inform gay men and educate others. "I think ultimately our intention is to break down discrimination and prejudice," Wood says.

In the new film, Wood's mother talks of her early misgivings about his homosexuality and the way he and Matthews planned to have a child. Thanks largely to encouragement from her friends after the first film, he says, she is now a doting grandmother. "In a sense she's received the same kind of positive feedback that we have had. That's wonderful to her."

They are determined to be as open as possible with both children. "Alexander knows that his circumstances are not usual. Yet he also knows lots of other kids with two mums or two dads."

They say they will not have another child and there will not be a third film. "It was filmed on and off over a period of more than six months," Wood says of the second, "and, as much as you are friends of the filmmaker, you end up becoming at times less than best friends and very protective of your own personal time and space."

He notes there are fewer unguarded moments in the second film and suspects you "become a less-interesting subject for a documentary the more familiar you become with the process."

Was there anything he would have preferred not to see in the new film? "I would have made a very different documentary if I was editing it and there are certainly aspects that I would prefer weren't included and there were obviously aspects I wish were better reflected in the film," Wood says.

Filmmaker Crimmings met the couple socially through her partner, who worked with Wood. She says Wood and Matthews had "some contractual control. Ultimately they didn't have final veto," she says.

"But there was control in that when we got to the point where they would view the final outcome.

"If there were things there they took umbrage to and thought were not balanced and fair, then they would be reviewed and removed whatever the compromise was."

[Link: Original Article]
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Joy 94.9 Breakfast Show - Anthony Wood talks about "Two Men & Two Babies" to Andy and Adrian

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Tony Matthews talks to Joy 94.9 Gay and Lesbian Radio's Breakfast show about the upcoming documentary "Two Men & Two Babies". To listen to the audio, click here.
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

SBS TV - "Two Mums and a Dad"

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Two Mums and a Dad - "2 Mums and a Dad is the story of the rocky road of 3-way parenting, a unique exploration of the nature of family in today's complicated society, as well as an insightful resource for everyone concerned with issues regarding the raising of children such as access, parent's rights and family conflict".
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ABC Radio - "Live Interview with Lee Matthews & Tony Wood and Josh Fergeus" with John Faine

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Six years ago, prevented from adopting a child, or accessing IVF facilities or commercial surrogacy in Australia, Tony Wood and Lee Matthews embarked on an international surrogacy arrangement that would take them to Iowa, America, for the birth of their son. This resulted in the film, Man Made: Two Men and Baby. Five years on, Lee and Tony have a second child, Lucy who is 2 years old. A second film Two Men and Two Babies airs on 29th January on SBS TV.

Josh Fergeus is 22 years old today. He was accredited as a foster carer 3 ½ years ago. His mother has been a carer since 2001, and together with his mother and brother they fostered 21 different children. Josh works for Anglicare Victoria in Training & Recruitment for Home-Based Care. This involves publicising foster care and recruiting, assessing, training and supporting carers and volunteers. He has been involved in Victorian Government's new systems for training and assessing carers, training staff and carers in it's use since early 2007. He is a member of the Victorian Government's Home Education Advisory Committee and holds two Bachelor's Degrees in Arts and Teaching (Secondary), and I am currently studying my Masters in Social Work.

To here the entire interview, click here.
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

MCV - "And Baby Makes Four" by David Knox

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David Knox meets the faces behind the forthcoming TV program, Two Men and Two Babies.

“We agreed we wouldn’t be doing any form of 7Up series,” insists Lee Matthews. “And here we are again.”

Five years ago, Matthews and his partner Tony Woods allowed cameras into their lives when they embarked on the rather rare experience of becoming gay dads.

Man Made: The Story of Two Men and a Baby followed their journey to Iowa, where their surrogate, Junoa, gave birth to their son Alexander in 2003.

At the time their story was shown on SBS, it attracted considerable media attention, both positive and negative, as an evolving definition of that oh-so-complex term, the modern Australian family. Matthews and Woods quickly became community ambassadors whether they liked it or not, immediately personifying options for gay men, politicians and conservative foes all at the same time.

As filmmaker Emma Crimmings explains, that first film raised other questions that SBS was keen to explore. Surrogacy is one part of the family’s journey, but how would it resonate as Alexander grew up? With cameras rolling, she took a second look.

“What I expected to find was more layers, more complexity that I wasn’t able to provide in the first [film] because it was such a rollicking narrative,” she tells MCV.

“It was a road movie with a baby. But the second one appealed to me because I could go out another circle, if you will, to the extended family and see the ripples of the choices that they made.”

But Crimmings’ questions were ones that the subjects weren’t sure were worth asking.

“We actually said to her, ‘Are you sure you want to do it, because we’re bloody boring anyway’” tells Woods.

“The life that we lead is no different to 95% of the general public, but of course it’s that very ordinariness that makes the political point that we’re not some extremist group. We’re just gay men with a family who have the same issues. But the very ordinariness is what makes the story,” he adds.

The two men’s son, Alexander, is now five years old, in his third year of pre-school, while daughter Lucy, two years old and also conceived with Junoa, is in crèche.

“To put ourselves out there as a news story when we’re just an everyday family doesn’t quite gel. There’s really nothing to say. We get up in the morning, we feed our kids breakfast, we get them to school, we go to work,” says Matthews.

Yet in 2008, this normality is still denied equity. Woods and Matthews have both been actively involved with the Rainbow Family Council, through which they have developed friendships with dozens of families, many of whom were directly inspired by their own story.

Rainbow Family Council spokesperson, Felicity Marlowe, acknowledges the need to personalise gay parenting.

“Telling our stories is an important step towards social and legal recognition. It’s about winning the hearts and minds of the broader community and getting them to understand that our families are just like any other family, and that that love makes a family,” she says.

It’s no coincidence that ‘Love Makes A Family’ is the name given to a four-year advocacy campaign focussed on the rights of same-sex parents and their children, which is finally winning political reform.

“The Victorian State Government in December approved most of the recommendations that the Victorian Law Reform Commission put in its report, that was tabled in June,” said Marlowe of the struggle for political recognition.

“But they didn’t approve anything to do with adoption, which for people in Lee and Tony’s situation is a key issue. Because they don’t have a birth mother in the primary relationship.”

Stopping short of recognising non-biological parent remains a sticking point for gay and lesbian parents.

“You can only say it’s because there’s this apprehension in the mind of the legislators that gay people are not fit parents, or the community doesn’t believe they are,” Woods theorises.

Still, five years on, there’s reason for hope.

“It feels like 2008 will be a year of change a way from the social conservatism of this current decade. I feel optimistic that the kids will grow up in a supportive, accepting environment,” he concludes.

Such a future has definitely been shaped by his and his partner’s willingness to publicly share their story.

“The guys are very brave doing it again,” Emma Crimmings says. “Once they hop on board, they’re on board, which I find incredibly admirable. It’s not easy to throw yourselves out there warts and all, dressing gowns and all.”

www.rainbowfamilies.org.au

Two Men and Two Babies airs 7:30pm Tuesday January 29 on SBS.

[Link: Original Article]
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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Notebook Magazine - "Devoted Dads"

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January Edition of "Notebook" Magazine featuring an article entitled "Devoted Dads" with Rodney, Jeff and Ethan Chiang-Cruise.

Rodney, Jeff and Ethan, 11 months

Attorney Rodney Cruise and his partner, Jeff Chiang, want the same things for their baby son, Ethan, as most parents. "Love, understanding, acceptance; that's what we will give Ethan, " says Rodney. "We want our son to grow up knowing he is loved unconditionally - and we'll support him to become a happy, successful, well-balanced person, gay or straight, with his own family one day if he chooses".

Rodney says his mother loved and supported him through his difficult early teenage years when he first realised he was gay. Similarly, he wants to be there for his son whatever needs may arise. "From about the age of 17, I knew I wanted to be a parent some day and I knew that being gay was going to make it more difficult. But I had a lot of things I wanted and needed to do first. Then, when I met Jeff in late 2000, one of the first things we talked about was having children. It was so exciting to meet a man who shared the same aspiration".

Over the next five years, Rodney and Jeff considered all sorts of parenting possibilities, including co-parenting with a lesbian couple, adoption, fostering and surrogacy. Adoption is not legally possible for gay couples in Australia, unlike many Western countries. The couple felt fostering was too temporary, and co-parenting wasn't ideal because Rodney and Jeff wanted to be full-time parents. After watching a documentary about a gay couple from Melbourne who achieved parenthood through surrogacy in the United States, Rodney and Jeff realised they had found a way.

"We registered with a surrogacy agency in the US and started saving madly for what was ahead". The agency found them a "gestational surrogate": a woman who is prepared to undergo IVF treatment using a fertilised donor egg and carry the pregnancy to full term. "The egg was from a donor and the sperm was from both of us. Then we waited to see if any eggs fertilised", recalls Rodney.

Rodney and Jeff's dream to have a child then moved forward progressively and effortlessly, as if it was meant to be. In January 2006, the pair flew to California to meet Kelly, a 29 year old mother of two from Ohio, who had agreed to act as a surrogate. The Australian couple bonded easily with the warm down to earth Kelly and her husband, Mike, and were only too happy to return to California a few months later for the first IVF treatment. Two weeks later, Rodney and Jeff's phone range at three o'clock in the morning. "We go the news that we were pregnant, " says Rodney, beaming with delight at the recollection. "We were so lucky to be successful on our very first go."

Nine months later, Rodney and Jeff checked into the local maternity hospital in Ohio with Kelly and her husband to await the birth of what they knew by then, would be a son. Everyone was ragged after Kelly's 13 hour labour, but when Ethan finally arrived everyone hugged each other with joy, including the hospital staff. "The Ohio medical team were incredibly supportive; we were so desperately excited to have a baby, says Rodney.

Today, Rodney is back at work full-time and still finds himself constantly thinking about his son in between legal work. Jeff works part-time and both dads feed, bath, change nappies, and get up in the middle of the night when required. "We both want to be involved; we both want to be the best parents we can be. Ethan doesn't have a mum - he has two dads, but most of all he has two parents," says Rodney. Ethan also has an 'auntie' in Ohio, of course, who has become a firm family friend.

Rodney and Jeff don't foresee Ethan having a tricky childhood because of the unusual circumstances surrounding his birth. "The issues that make our lives more difficult are not social," explains Rodney. "What is most frustrating is the institutionalised discrimination that occurs as a result of Australian law. This country simply does not recognise Ethan, Jeff and I as a 'family' in the normal way". The couple have recently applied for a Parental Responsibility Order from the Family Court, which will grant them the right to make major decisions about the care of their child. It is not exactly the same as parental status, but it does prescribe who is responsible for Ethan, and most importantly, it grants equal rights to a non-biological father who is part of a gay couple.

"If Ethan is admitted to hospital, for example, and needs urgent treatment, we wouldn't be able to make critical decisions about our son's wellbeing as a result [without a Parental Responsibility Order]. There are thousands of same-sex parent families in Australia who suffer this discrimination and in all cases, it's the children who suffer. But who knows? Perhaps Jeff, Ethan and I can lobby for things to change," says Rodney.

For the time being, Rodney and Jeff enjoy being a family , and like most proud parents, they're wide-eyed with pride and love as they watch their smiling boy learn to cuddle, communicate and crawl. "We won't hide anything from Ethan, "says Rodney as he, Jeff and Ethan snuggle together on the living-room sofa for a group hug. "We will always tell him everything he wants to know".

[Link: Original Article]
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