[Ireland] Stand Up! – Don’t Stand for Homophobic Bullying

A wonderful Public Service Annoucnement (PSA) from Ireland on the subject of homophobic bullying.  Brilliantly done and something that should be shown in every school followed by discussion.  These messages need to get out to send positive messages to our youth and to let people no that bullying is not ok.  Watch and enjoy!

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[Australia] - Announcing the 6th Surrogacy for Gay Men Forum in Melbourne – Saturday 5th November 11am to 2pm

Jeff, Ethan & Rodney Chiang-Cruise

Gay Dads Australia is pleased to announce that we will be holding the 6th Surrogacy for Gay Men Forum in Melbourne onSaturday 5th November 2011 from 11am to 2pm.

We are pleased to be able to hold this important forum at the JOY 94.9 function room in Melbourne’s CBD.  JOY 94.9 is Melbourne’s Gay and Lesbian Radio Station and is an amazing supporter of gay dads and rainbow families. We are thrilled that they are supporting us in holding this forum.  Please support them.

We will be announcing full program and registration details shortly but if you are interested in finding out more about becoming a dad via surrogacy then please mark this in your diary.  We will have some great speakers to help you learn about surrogacy in general, surrogacy in Victoria, surrogacy in USA and surrogacy in India.  Light refreshments will be provided.  The forum is more than just a chance to learn about surrogacy, it is also an opportunity to meet and network with guys going through the process as well.

The forum as always will be FREE and put on entirely by volunteers.  

Last year we got around 90 guys coming along to the forum (some are now dads!!!) and we expect that there will be a similar demand for the forum this year.  When registrations open it is important to register early to ensure a place as numbers are limited by the size of the venue.  We will certainly try to accomodate everyone we can.

You can email me directly on rodneycruise@gmail.com to indicate your desire to attend however we will open formal registration later in the week.

Every years we get guys from around the country (and from outside Australia) flying in for the forum and we certainly encourage guys interstate to come if they can.  

A big thank you goes to Adrian Perillo and JOY 94.9 for their amazing support to help us put on this forum.

Further details and registration forms will be posted on this website within the next week.

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[Australia] – Sydney Morning Herald – “Lucy has a gay dad and a ‘tummy mummy’” by Neil McMahon

Stuart Gent & Lucy

In today’s Sydney Morning Herald there is a lovely piece about Stuart Gent and his daughter Lucy.  It is wonderful to see such positive and life affirming articles on surrogacy particularly when they have gay men involved.  What makes this one a little different than the usual is that Stuart is a single gay man.  Congratulations Stuart – Lucy is beautiful and thank you for sharing your journey.

STUART GENT hopes his daughter Lucy will grow up believing herself blessed, a girl conceived and born with love in mind and with the greatest care and deliberation. She was no accident or afterthought.

At two years and seven months old, she knows she has a ”tummy mummy”, a biological one, and a dad who adores her. Planning of her life began in London; the first steps to conception were taken in Boston; she was born in California; she’s being raised in Melbourne.

”Lucy knows,” says Mr Gent, 38, who is gay.

”I tell it in the way of a fairytale.

I tell her that I wanted to have a little baby girl and that I went to a big land called America … and they were able to help me find a nice lady who helped me have my little girl and there was another lady who gave me the seed. The story changes, it gets more elaborate as she gets older.”

Mr Gent is speaking about his experience at a moment when surrogacy is again in the headlines. Last week Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban announced they had become parents via a surrogate mother in the US. At Christmas, Elton John and his partner David Furnish revealed they had become parents by the same route.

Mr Gent hopes his story can also shed light on a practice steeped in controversy.
When in his early 30s, he had been living in London for more than a decade, a long relationship had ended and he was starting to ponder his future. A certainty was that he wanted a child. He considered adoption, but was defeated by red tape. So he turned to surrogacy.

Online, he established contact with a surrogacy agency in Boston. The agency matched him with an egg donor, then with a woman to carry the child. Everyone involved had psychiatric and medical tests. He first met Lucy’s ”gestational carrier” Stacy and her husband at a Californian restaurant and the match seemed perfect.

Mr Gent’s sperm fertilised the eggs, which were implanted at an IVF clinic. Result: pregnancy. Nine months later, in July 2008, Lucinda was born in California. Her dad missed the birth when she arrived a few days early. He made a cross-Atlantic dash to the hospital.

”I went up to the nursery and they said, ‘Which one do you think is your daughter?’ and I said, ‘The little one, frowning.’ And I was spot on.

I just knew.”

Mr Gent brought her home to Melbourne a month later. His family was supportive. Friends rallied around. He now has a partner, Craig Swain, although they don’t live together.

”I’m a single father, that’s it,” Mr Gent says. ”I just happen to be gay. It took three years for me to become a father. There’s a lot of love goes into that. My objective is to give her as much courage and confidence as

I can so that if there are any problems, she can weather them.
”It comes down to the amount of love you give to a child, and she has plenty of love.”

[Source: Original Article Alternate Version]

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[Australia - New South Wales] – The Daily Telegraph – “Baby law ‘will make parents into liars’ warn legal experts” by Letitia Rowlands

LEGAL experts are urging State Parliament to reconsider new surrogacy laws they say will lead to couples lying to authorities, friends and family about their children’s births.

Under altruistic surrogacy laws from March 1, any NSW resident who travels overseas for commercial surrogacy can on return be fined $110,000 and imprisoned for two years, reported The Daily Telegraph.

They will also not benefit from other changes making it easier for couples to be recognised as parents of a child born via an altruistic surrogacy.

Commercial surrogacy, where a surrogate mother is paid for carrying a couple’s genetic child, is illegal in all states of Australia.

Community Services Minister Linda Burney said the laws aimed to stop exploitation of women in other countries who might be forced to become a surrogate for financial reasons.

University of Technology Sydney law professor Jenni Millbank said couples desperate to have a child would still seek commercial surrogates overseas and lie about it.

It comes as a gay Melbourne couple who paid an Indian surrogate to give birth to twin girls won a major Family Court case for parenting rights for the non-genetic partner.

Justice Paul Cronin said: “While it is clear that the Act talks about a parent as a mother and a father … biology does not really matter. It is all about parental responsibility.”

[Source: Original Article]

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[Australia] – Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study – by Jason Tuazon-McCheyne – Volume 31 Issue 4

Jason Tuazon-McCheyne

Jason Tuazon-McCheyne, who is one of the best known Surro-Dads in Australia, has just had his paper “Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study” published in the  Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy (ANZJFT).  The abstract follows and a copy of the paper is attached.  This is a very interesting read and represents one of the very few pieces of academic studies done in Australia in to gay male parents (via surrogacy).  Well done Jason, I know what an amazing amount of work went into this paper.

Australian gay men have only recently become parents through surrogacy arrangements. They have had to overcome a discriminatory legal, social, political, cultural and financial environment. A cooperative inquiry action research group was formed, with seven two-father families conceived via surrogacy, to explore their journey to parenthood and their consequent politicisation as gay fathers. This article reveals how that experience of the cooperative inquiry process strengthened their resolve to be intentionally ‘out’ in their communities to overcome discriminatory and conservative social attitudes. They embraced the political reality of their parenting and were stimulated to create improved support structures for themselves and future parents. This transformed the legal, social, political and cultural environment for their families. 

[Source: Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study - By Jason Tuazon-McCheyne] 
Download Paper

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[Australia] - Organising Work and Home in Same-Sex Parented Families: Findings From the Work Love Play Study - THE AUSTRALIAN AND NEW ZEALAND JOURNAL OF FAMILY THERAPY - Volume 31 Number 4 2010 pp. 374–391

The full report on "Organising Work and Home in Same-Sex Parented Families: Findings From the Work Love Play Study" has been published: 

In this article we present findings from the Work, Love and Play (WLP) study: a survey completed by 445 same-sex attracted parents across Australia and New Zealand. Comparisons of household division of labour are made between a sub-sample of WLP participants, who were currently cohabiting with a same-sex partner (n = 317), and 958 cohabiting opposite-sex parents surveyed as part of a major Australian study, Negotiating the Life Course. This comparison showed that same-sex couples divided household labour significantly more equally than heterosexual parents, and lesbian couples also shared parenting tasks more equally. Qualitative findings from the WLP study indicate that, for many same-sex couples, major decisions around who gives up paid work and how many hours parents choose to work, as well as decisions around work/family balance, are negotiated on the basis of couple’s preferences and circumstance rather than an assump- tion that one parent will be the primary child carer. It is speculated that this finding highlights an important point of difference between same-sex couples and heterosexual couples where the division of household labour is often based on the assumption that the mother will almost always be the primary child carer and homemaker. The research is a collaborative partnership between La Trobe University, Deakin University, The University of Melbourne, and Relationships Australia Victoria.

[Source: Original Paper]

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[Australia] - Sydney Morning Herald - "Religious charities putting doctrine above children's interests" by Jen Vuk

The worst harm is done by refusing to allow same-sex couples to foster.

It was with a heavy heart that I read of a landmark ruling earlier this month that gives religious charities the freedom to ban gay foster parents.

The New South Wales Administrative Decisions Tribunal found that Wesley Dalmar Services, the foster-care arm of Wesley Mission, was within its rights to knock back a gay couple who applied in the early 2000s to become foster carers, because their "lifestyle was not in keeping with the beliefs and values of Wesleyanism".

The charity, a part of the Uniting Church assembly, had successfully argued that its decision was necessary to circumvent damage to its "religious susceptibilities".

As far as rulings go, it was a classic case of exploiting a loophole. The tribunal intimated that its hands were tied due to "the very broad exemptions in the Anti-Discrimination Act relating to religious groups".

Following the passing of the Equal Opportunity Bill in Victoria this year, which allows religious groups to continue to discriminate on the basis of "sexuality or marital status if it is in accordance with their beliefs", the NSW directive is clearly portentous for Victorian gay couples hoping to foster.

Of course, it is a grave disservice to tar all Christian foster-care agencies with the same bias. Uniting Care Burnside, part of the Uniting Church, has long held progressive attitudes towards homosexuality, as has Barnardos. Both have a non-discriminatory policy when looking for safe environments in which to place foster children.

Wesley Mission belongs to a Methodist order of the Uniting Church. It has a long and worthy history of social justice, but the central tenet of its orthodoxy, that marriage between a man and a woman is the cornerstone of family, sits uneasily in a contemporary world.

As many civil liberties groups have been quick to point out, charities such as Wesley that rely on government funding should not be allowed to show such prejudice. It is likely to become more of an issue in NSW over the next four years, as private agencies take over all the foster-care programs run by the Department of Community Services.

But there is something else amiss here, and it's a trap ready-made for religious charity groups. By putting its charter ahead of its charges, Wesley Mission undermines its mission. While it may indeed have the legislative right to discriminate, the only time it should exercise that right is when a child - and not its doctrine - is at risk.

Furthermore, I can't understand how a charity can so easily turn a blind eye to the fact that we have long been crying out for foster carers.

In 2005, lobby group the Australian Foster Care Association warned that foster care in Australia was at a crossroads. It urged states and territories to work together to improve "their recruitment strategies to increase the number of foster carers" and put strategies in place to retain them.

And with good reason. Foster care isn't for the faint-hearted. In addition to the logistical hoops prospective carers are required to jump through (such as police checks and working-with-children checks), different agencies have their own criteria.

While there is some financial recompense for carers, it isn't a patch on the physical, emotional and spiritual investment of welcoming an often damaged little stranger into your home.

Just think, on the one hand you are encouraged to support and bond with the child. On the other, you must be prepared to let them go, sometimes at a moment's notice, and knowing the cycle of abuse and neglect will most likely begin anew. Surely, this is the biggest ask of all.

Over the past year, it was estimated that about 34,000 children moved in and out of state care, and the number is growing. For the lucky few - and they are few - there is a happy ending.

Eight years ago, a young sister and brother arrived at the door of Silke Bader and her partner, Tanya Sale. Now aged 11 and 12, the two siblings have had the kind of safe and secure upbringing their 10 brothers and sisters could only dream about.

As Bader told The Sydney Morning Herald: "The argument over same-sex adoption is whether the couples are suitable . . . in this case we certainly stand out as being more suitable."

Earlier this year, after surveying several children placed with same-sex couples, a NSW parliamentary inquiry found that, above all else, "stability and security" were crucial in fostering a child's development. The findings led to the same-sex adoption bill being passed in September.

This is why the latest ruling seems not only curious but retrogressive. While definition of family is constantly evolving, one thing remains forever the same: every child has a right to be loved.

Surely it's time we put children's rights where they belong - above and beyond all others.

Jen Vuk is a freelance writer.

  

[Source: Original Article]

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